Love Without Expectations

Let’s wrap this month up with LOVE blog number four of February 2025!

I started the month off by discussing ways to celebrate your partner through the celebration of Valentine’s Day. Then I shared songs that show God’s love and in turn helps you work to love yourself. The third blog discussed ensuring people understand their value in a relationship and not settling for less out of fear of being alone.

I didn’t really know where I wanted to go with this last one. I took a little bit of information I’ve written in the past and elaborated briefly.

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At church, recently, I mentioned a lesson my mom taught my brother and I growing up. She taught us that if we felt like helping someone in need, we should do so with no expectation of receiving something in return. She taught us that it’s not kind to give with an expectation of receiving anything back. She taught us that if we can give, then give. If we can’t, then don’t.

That’s kind of how I see love. We should love without expectation of receiving love in return. Not everyone is able to love or even knows how to love. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t love them.

Our children are perceptive creatures, but the reality is, they are really only able to understand the nuances of love through seeing examples. If we expect them to love us the way we love them, we’ll likely be disappointed. It’s going to take them a while to learn how to truly understand love and how to show it. They’re likely going to scream at you, tell you you’re the worst, and complain about everything you do for the majority of their childhood. We continue to show them love.

It’s different when we begin exploring romantic relationships. We’re obviously not going to tolerate someone screaming at us, telling us we’re the worst, or complaining about everything we do. However, they’re still not going to be different than us.

Every person has a unique personality. They have unique interests. They have complex beliefs. They have specific ways they show and receive love.

You’re probably not going to get very far if you treat your partner how you want to be treated. If I took my partner out for a book shopping spree, he would be quite confused. If he only ever gifted me fishing related items, I would probably cry.

You should have a desire to prioritize showing love. Every person in this world is here for some reason whether you believe it was an accident or not. If you are not in a place to love someone, then you should likely consider being by yourself and delaying having children.

I don’t say that to be mean, but if your priority is you, then keep it you. When you enter a relationship and/or have children, your priorities have to shift. Your priority is now to make your partner and/or children feel loved.

I don’t want anyone thinking it’s not important to take care of yourself. That’s not at all what I’m saying. Hopefully you’ve read enough of my blogs to know how worthy you are of love as a person. Hopefully you know how important it is to prioritize your mental health. We all need moments for ourselves and to find joy in things that we are passionate about. Don’t ever forget that.

The beautiful part about the lesson my mom taught me is that if you think this way and find someone else that thinks this way, your needs will always be met.

If you prioritize showing love to someone you love and they do the same for you, you’re both going to find joy in that relationship. You’re both going to be able to find joy outside of the relationship because you’ll realize how important it is to do the things you enjoy.

There’s also the component of a relationship in which your partner may not be able to show you love for whatever reason. Maybe they were injured and can’t get out like y’all normally would. Maybe they lost their job and can’t afford to surprise you with random gifts. Maybe they’re struggling with a mental health concern or other physical health concern that just makes them not in their usual spirit.

I’ve mentioned in a prior blog about how I perceive love. If a person is prioritizing their partner, the things they love about them will be specific details about their partner. If they are prioritizing themselves, the things they love about their partner will likely include “me” in their statements.

I figured I would go into more detail on this with a few examples of reasons I love people in my world.

My mom:

1. I love her ability to create. She’s so talented and amazes me constantly.
2. I love her kindness, she’s always thinking of others.
3. I love how makeup makes her smile.
4. I love her ability to make something out of nothing.
5. I love all the creative ways she parented my brother and I.

Henry:

1. I love his ability to find humor in so many situations.
2. I love his love for math.
3. I love his ability to nickname all the things with creative nicknames.
4. I love how perceptive he is about people’s emotions.
5. I love how he takes the tiniest bites when he eats.

My partner:

1. I love how happy he looks when he’s talking about fishing and cars.
2. I love the way he brushes his teeth.
3. I love his passion for his family and our church.
4. I love the way his eyes change depending on his emotion.
5. I love how creative his brain is with pretty much everything.

My partner’s daughter:

1. I love the way her face lights up when she talks about science projects.
2. I love the way her water bottles are always bent in half when she’s done with them.
3. I love seeing the love she has for her father and how much they laugh together.
4. I love her fashion sense and her ability to make all outfits look cool.
5. I love her desire to seek adventure and come up with fun things to do.

Even without all the cool and adorable things my family does, I’d still show them love regardless. That’s the point of this blog. No matter what anyone can offer you in return, you should show them love.

This blog is a little short but, I wanted to share this reminder to finish up these LOVE blogs. Love God. Love yourself. Love others. Don’t let this world so filled with hate overshadow the importance of LOVE!