I started this blog with no real plan for how it would proceed. I didn’t even have any confidence it would form into enough content to be worthy of sharing. My anxiety has often entertained me with its contradictory thinking. My brain often has every scenario imaginable to run through at any given moment. I figured I would share what that looks like to offer some silly entertainment to the lives of whoever reads this blog. This is for purely entertainment purposes. I am not speaking on what anxiety looks like for everyone or attempting to make a mental health statement of some kind. Please enjoy.
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Scenario: Me walking in a store…
Thought A:
“You should smile at that person; you could be the smile they need to keep moving forward.”
Thought B:
“You probably shouldn’t smile at that person; that’s probably the smile that will convince them they should murder you because they’re probably a serial killer.”
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Scenario: Out fishing in a random location my husband chose for some night fishing…
Thought A:
“Wow, it’s so beautiful out here at this cool remote outdoor location.”
Thought B:
“Wow, this is the exact type of place that would be perfect for someone to come and murder me, and no one would ever find me.”
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Scenario: Me trying to process someone being rude…
Thought A:
“You gotta kill them with kindness.”
Thought B:
“Man, I really wish their socks constantly felt like they’d stepped in something wet, and they always have car troubles that cost them lots of money.”
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Scenario: Me attempting to teach someone something at work or trying to help the kids with homework…
Thought A:
“It’s really not that hard, I don’t understand what they don’t get.”
Thought B:
“Not everyone is good at the same stuff, give them some grace.”
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Scenario: Me getting dressed for work…
Thought A:
“You should wear that outfit again, it’s your favorite. It’s not even the same outfit; it just looks similar because you have ten pairs of black leggings and most of your t-shirts are black.”
Thought B:
“They’re going to think you don’t ever shower or wash your clothes, don’t wear that outfit again. It’s like the fourth time this week you’ve worn a black shirt with black leggings.”
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Scenario: Me trying to clean the kids’ room…
Thought A:
“Toy boxes aren’t helpful. They become dump spots for everything, and the kids can’t find anything. The system you have makes more sense so they can find what they’re looking for easier.”
Thought B:
“A toy box would be great. They could just dump everything, and it wouldn’t take so long for the kids to clean up.”
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Scenario: Me trying to decide if I want to sleep the 30 extra minutes from when my husband leaves for work and when I need to get up to get the kids ready for school…
Thought A:
“You can totally go back to sleep after he leaves for work. You’ll definitely wake up on your first alarm and not have to rush.”
Thought B:
“Girl, you know you’re going to snooze five times and end up rushing. You do this every day. Don’t kid yourself.”
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Scenario: Me trying to decide the best time to stop and get gas when I have to drive a long distance…
Thought A:
“You need gas, that gas station is open, just stop.”
Thought B:
“Don’t stop there, it looks sketchy. You’ll definitely get murdered.”
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Scenario: Me trying to decide what to do when I can’t take my purse into a venue or have my laptop with me and I need to run in somewhere and I’d rather not carry it…
Thought A:
“Put your purse in the trunk, no one will think to look in there for it.”
Thought B:
“Just put it under your seat, do you think you’re smarter than a criminal? If they can break a window, they can access your trunk.”
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Scenario: Me at a doctor’s appointment or emergency room…
Thought A:
“On a scale from 1-10… YOU’RE A TEN and you know it! Just tell them you’re feeling awful, and you’re actually pretty certain you’re dying.”
Thought B:
“You’re being a baby. It’s not that bad. Just tell them six so they know it’s hurting but you can deal with it if you have to.”
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Scenario: Me seeing someone in a fire outfit…
Thought A:
“You should complement that person’s outfit. It might brighten their day.”
Thought B:
“Don’t say anything to them, they’ll think you’re weird. They don’t owe you thanks for the comment.”
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Scenario: Me in a waiting room or really any place where I have to sit and wait for something…
Thought A:
“Cross your arms. It’s a comfortable position, and it kinda helps keep you warm a bit.”
Thought B:
“Are you crazy? Don’t cross your arms. They’re going to think you’re a bitch.”
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Scenario: Me while driving…
Thought A:
“There’s not many cars on this road and it’s a pretty straight shot. Maybe I could drive five miles over the speed limit. The police don’t seem to care and pass me all the time when I’m driving the speed limit.”
Thought B:
“Don’t do it. You’re a bad person. Remember that paper you wrote in college when you were 18? You said you believed in driving the speed limit. Did you lie????”
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Scenario: Me at a vision appointment…
Thought A:
“You need new glasses. You can’t read those letters. It’s blurry. Just tell them it’s blurry. Don’t lie.”
Thought B:
“Lie. You’re definitely failing this eye exam. They’re going to think you suck because your eyes don’t work. Option two is not blurrier, you’re silly.”
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I am certain I could add endless scenarios and thoughts like these if I wanted, but I don’t want to force it. I’ve had this blog in my drafts and have been adding them as I thought of them or the scenario actually happened. I had a vision appointment today, so the last scenario genuinely happened the same day I finished this blog. (I was honest, I really want to be able to see clearly, haha!)
I hope whoever read this at least got a giggle or two out of your time spent! I hope you’re having a great day, and if you’re not, I hope for joy to find you soon! Being a human is hard. Please be kind to others, but don’t forget about being kind to yourself as well! I love all you beautiful humans!
Surprise Bonus Scenario:
Thought A:
“I do want to love all people. Most people will understand the sentiment behind the context of me writing this.”
Thought B:
“Maybe you shouldn’t write that. I don’t want someone creepy to think I actually “love love” them and become obsessed with me or something.”
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Haha! I had to add in the thoughts I often have when I sign off with some version of “I love all you beautiful humans.” My brain is fun!
Ariel Pierce 