Ariel Pierce

Friendships and Responsibilities

Happy Monday + 1!

Since yesterday was technically a holiday, let’s pretend that today is Mental Health Monday!

If you’ve been keeping up with my blog, checked out my social media page, or perused through my website, you have been introduced to my best friend, Samantha.

The last time we were able to see each other in person was March of 2021. My son and I were finally able to take some time to travel and spend the weekend with her and her family.

We bought matching pajamas and captured this lovely picture during the trip!

A huge part of my conversations with my therapist revolves around the fact that I have limited contact with friends outside of work. I have one coworker, who I adore, that I see consistently and vent all my work frustrations to, and a few others I see here and there. However, I rarely spend time with any of my coworkers outside of work unless we’re having a unit gathering.

I have a few friends I’ll check in with occasionally, about their lives, but we rarely get together. I’m a friendly person but for some reason, I don’t have any significant friendships in this area. Most of my best friends live in other cities in Texas or out of state. These are the friends that I could call up and talk to for hours. These are the friends you could call up randomly and they’ll go to the grocery store with you. These are the friends who you can complain about your life and make borderline suicidal ideations and they support you and don’t make you feel any crazier than you already feel.

Spending time with friends is good for your mental health.

So, imagine how not good going over a year without seeing my best friend was on my mental health.

Being a single parent with no friends or family in the area sucks! I rarely have time to communicate with adults outside of work. Sometimes, you just can’t keep talking about work and need some time chatting about other things with your best friend(s).

As a single parent, you’re responsible for everything.

Getting kiddo(s) to daycare/school
Keeping up with chores at home
Managing the bills
Ensuring your kiddo(s) has enough quality time with you
Maintenance on vehicle/home
Attending all appointments for kiddo(s)
Grocery shopping/providing appropriate meals
Working so you can support yourself and kiddo(s)
ETC…

Being a human in general is overwhelming but when there’s no sense of relief it can drown you. We need breaks, genuine friendships, time to spend with these friends, and time to feel like ourselves outside of the many roles we hold.

Let’s talk about what this time looks like.

I spent three days with my son, best friend, and her family. I left feeling almost more exhausted than when I arrived. Have y’all ever gone on a trip and feel like you need a vacation from your vacation? That’s a little bit how I felt after this weekend. I went hoping to spend some quality time with my best friend. We spent the whole weekend trying to keep my son from beating up her kids, taking breaks watching each other’s kids while we went to the bathroom, took a shower, or cooked, and trying to nap because we were exhausted. We had a few minutes during a quick Walmart trip to be together, without kids, and have a little fun.

The six-hour trip there and back did not help much either.

I know we’re both moms and do not have the means to be without our children often so you’d think I would know that it wouldn’t be the perfect trip. Regardless, I did not expect to feel so disconnected when we were literally staying in the same home. It’s hard to focus on your friendship when you’re focused on being a parent. It’s even harder when your child is ignoring everything you say, and you feel like an incompetent parent.

How do we maintain friendships when we’re so far away to feel connected despite the distance?

Texting
Calling
Video chatting
Social media
Letters

These are a few things Samantha and I use to stay connected. I also found a journal that we write in and mail back and forth as a fun method. Of course, we often get behind and end up taking months before we get it back to the other. We’re trying though.

How do we take the breaks that we deserve and feel refreshed when we return to our responsibilities? I haven’t figured out a solid answer for this question. Having smaller, more frequent, breaks seem to help a bit. If you’re waiting for a week (or two) long vacation once a year, you’re likely going to get burnt out. I try to add a three-day weekend to my schedule when I can, but it doesn’t happen as much as I’d like.

I love this meme based on an episode of Rugrats. This is legitimately how adult life feels. We have so many roles and if you are focused on one, you’re likely neglecting the others. This can be a huge weight on our mental health.

Feel free to comment what you do to maintain healthy friendships and feel rested during breaks/vacations!

We are struggling with so much every day. I am here to be an advocate for mental health and helping others. If you’re struggling with an internal battle, just know, I am here with you! My website/blog and social media page are safe places! Share your dreams and your struggles. Life isn’t easy but you’re doing great!

Who Has the Answers?

“If a person comes into your classroom, turn your body so your side is facing the front of their body. This way, if they shoot you, they are less likely to hit any vital organs.”

“Get into a corner of the room not visible by the window in the door. Someone will check the door is locked. Close the blinds on the windows. Be quiet. If you’re in the hall when the announcement is made, run and/or hide. If you can’t hide or they’re in the classroom, fight.”

The suggestions flooding social media following a school shooting in which 19 children and two teachers were killed, is to train teachers or to arm more people in the school’s proximity.

The first quote is one I heard my first semester as an undergraduate education major. We were asked to volunteer to come to the front of the room to show the class how to stand and the teacher would pretend to be the intruder. The second quote is from my experience as a high school student. This is what we were told to do if we receive a warning or hear gun shots. Teachers are being trained. Students are being taught. The teachers and students know what to do during an active shooter situation. I graduated high school 12 years ago. This is information that has been in the schools for years.

In my College Algebra class, I sat in a row of five directly aligned with the window in the door. The peer in the front of the row was responsible for shutting the door. Each row had a specific job during the active shooter drills. Administrative staff would come by and shake the doors aggressively, look in to see if they could see any of us, and give us tips on how to improve for the next drill.

We were reprimanded for using any other door but the front door to enter or exit the school during the school day. We were told if we opened other doors, we could disengage the locks and possibly leave the door vulnerable for intruders. My peers goofed off during the drills, ignorant to the reality of the need for them. The Columbine high school shooting was the go-to reminder of what might happen to any of us on any day. We were encouraged to report any of our peers for suspicious behaviors.

To act as if teachers aren’t actively aware of the possibility of a school shooting is ignorant. They know. They’ve known. They do not need anymore training. They should not have to bear the burden of carrying a gun to potentially shoot one of the children that has sat in their classroom. They should not have to worry about a gun while they educate our most vulnerable. Having more and more security on the campus advertises to children that they are not safe in a place they should be. It seems impossible to have enough security to stand by each classroom in case a situation initiates inside the classroom instead of in the halls or outside of the school. A handful of security guards cannot be everywhere at once.

I am almost 30 years old. I grew up learning where to hide and how to fight if we couldn’t hide. The Columbine school shooting happened in 1999. It’s likely safe to assume that children and teachers at least since 1999 have learned the same information I did. If a shooter enters a school campus, they know where to go, they know where you’re suggested to hide, they know that you’re told to fight and likely have limited materials to do so. They know you’re vulnerable.

That’s why they are there.

Shooters go to places where people are vulnerable. They go where they know they can likely do the most damage. They go to where they know they will likely accomplish much of their goal before anyone is able to stop them.

Once this argument is gone through, people will add mental health as what needs to be addressed. Mental health is used as something to say when you’re trying to find something to blame other than the real problem. The person was mentally unstable. They’re an outlier. This won’t happen again.

But it does. It happens over and over and over and over and over and over again. Did that feel like too much? It will never be too much to continually point out that nothing is being done to address this problem.

I’m happy to talk about mental health for a second, though. Mental health absolutely needs to be addressed. Let me break it down for you.

When a child is born, their parent should have guaranteed access to all items necessary for their child’s survival. Access to formula, a crib, a car seat, and any other item a parent may need.
The child’s parent needs access to childcare that is free or affordable in the context of all their other financial responsibilities.
Parents need to have parental leave available to use at their discretion. This should not be taken from their sick leave or annual leave.
Parents need to have access to free mental health services to address this major change in their life if needed.
Parents need to have access to affordable housing and jobs that pay at a comparable rate to the cost of living in the area in which they live.
Parents need to have access to free continuing education to consider options for being in a situation to improve their income earning potential.
Parents and the child need to have access to free mental health services at any time during their lives.
Bullying in schools needs to be addressed immediately.
Trans individuals need access to gender affirming care.
Parents need the right to choose abortion.
Racism needs to be eliminated.
Microaggressions need to be called out and stopped.
Systemic problems need to be corrected.

Mental health is not something that is fixed by one visit to a therapist’s office to complain about your mother, like presented in the entertainment industry. There are numerous factors that contribute to a person struggling with their mental health. There are numerous factors that contribute to a person getting to the point of pointing a gun at innocent humans and ending their lives.

The main factor is the access to guns.

I grew up around guns. There was a gun on a shelf in my grandfather’s shower. There were multiple guns we would have to move around to find anything in my grandfather’s closet. My mom hid one under our couch which we didn’t know about until we were messing around one day. This one was in a locked box.

We shot at random targets in random backyards. Family members hunted animals. We were taught general gun safety. Most of my family held guns in the military. Guns were a present and common factor in my childhood.

You can absolutely find examples of a person who was around guns who did not use them to harm another human. However, the more access to guns, the more likely someone is to use them.

People will say that guns are not the problem, that people sinning and not having a relationship with God is the problem. Are you willing to sit around and wait for all humans on Earth to develop a relationship with God instead of addressing the problem? I’m not.

Praying is comforting. Praying is likely necessary for some. However, this is not the case for all. Praying only does so much. Absolutely pray if this is your choice. But then team with those in your community to put actions into place to keep people safe.

We need gun laws that keep unnecessary guns out of the hands of any random citizen. There is no reason that background checks should be a problem. There is no reason that a raised age limit to access guns shouldn’t be in place outside of the context of military service. Classes should be required to teach those who want to buy a gun how to use them safely. There is no reason that it should not be noted how many guns you own and what they are.

If you care more about a collection of useless materials in the façade of “I may need them to protect myself from the government,” you likely need to seek mental health support. I don’t say this in a condescending way, but the reality is, humans are much more important than a gun.

The political party I see pushing gun control the most appears to be doing the most to support mental health, they are advocating for equitable treatment and justice for those not receiving it. They are fighting to keep humans healthy, physically and mentally. I cannot see a future in which these individuals take your guns, and then somehow threaten your existence.

I do not have all the answers, I likely don’t even have 1% of the answers. However, I know sitting by and sending thoughts and prayers on social media to move on a second later, is not helping. I refuse to sit by and allow these shootings to continue until my son is the one who is taken from this world, triggering a more intense reason to care.

Every human is an important person to someone. This can’t continue.

I know many of us are doing the best we can. We are struggling with so much every day. I am here to be an advocate for mental health and helping others. If you’re struggling with an internal battle, just know, I am here with you! My website/blog and social media page are safe places! Share your dreams and your struggles. Life isn’t easy but you’re doing great!

Lupus Awareness Month x3

Happy Wednesday x3

This is post three focusing on Lupus during Lupus Awareness Month! Lupus did not exist in my mind until meeting Samantha in 2013. Selena Gomez brought a bit more awareness to the world when she shared her diagnosis. (Selena, wanna play Samantha in a movie based on my book GTS one day?)

When I met Samantha, she was 23 years old. I learned quickly in our friendship her doctors often told her she may not live past 25. Did you read that? 25. I potentially had less than two years with my friend if their estimation was correct. In 2015, a few months shy of her 25^th birthday, Samantha experienced a lupus flare that caused the need for a medically induced coma. Her words, echoing doctor’s words, screamed in my mind as I waited to find out if my friend would ever wake up.

We are a few weeks shy of Samantha’s 32^nd birthday, today. She now spends much of her time bringing lupus awareness to her community. I hope to help her do this through my writing and eventually publish GTS, a novel based on our lives in 2015.

Samantha is graciously sharing a look into the 20+ years she has spent living with a lupus diagnosis. Here is a little bit more of her story:

From August 2001 to January 2002, I felt like a ping pong ball going from one doctor to another, not getting better, and not knowing what was going to happen next. In February 2002, I was referred to Texas Scottish Rite Hospital for Children in Dallas, Texas. I remember my parents driving during an ice storm to get to the hotel and being stuck on I-30 due to an 18-wheeler that jacked knifed and blocked traffic for over two hours.

We finally made it to my appointment and a treatment plan was made for me. I would be visiting the hospital every two weeks for treatment. This required me to leave my public school and start homeschooling.

My mom and I would fly to Dallas, get to the hospital just in time for my appointment, and I would get labs done, which I hated. Each visit would require me to be admitted to the hospital. My family was unable to visit as no one lived in the area. My mom would sleep a lot, leading me to make “friends” with inanimate objects. The IV pole with bags of Solumedrol and Cytoxan would be my unwanted companion for three long days. One ray of joy were gift bags full of goodies waiting for me, on the hospital bed, during each visit. They were full of little things to keep me entertained while in the hospital and things I could take home when I left. I felt grateful for the goodie bags because it got lonely there.

Eventually traveling to Dallas every two weeks became once a month, then once every other month up to my 18th birthday.

Can you imagine seven years of your childhood dealing with so many medical appointments? It’s not normal for most of us. I’ve seen Samantha happy, sad, angry, joyful, and so many emotions in between about her body and living with lupus. There have been days where she couldn’t imagine continuing to live like she has for so many years. She continues to manage the emotions that come along with a chronic illness. Nothing about this diagnosis is fair. Such beautiful people living in pain with no light at the end of the tunnel.

There is no cure for lupus. There is only one FDA approved medication specifically for lupus. All treatment plans are designed to manage symptoms and slow the destruction of healthy cells.

The Lubbock Lupus Group is raising money in their community to provide financial assistance to the lab at Texas Tech University completing research to find a cure for lupus.

I watched my friend speak so eloquently during a Facebook Live event she hosted, with a guest researcher from Texas Tech, about how she hopes her group can be a factor in what leads to a cure for so many. I’ve said it in the other two posts, but please follow the Lubbock Lupus Group on Facebook. Go back and look at all the posts during Lupus Awareness Month and learn information you may not have known about the disease. Connect your loved ones to an online support group that may not have one. There are so many great reasons to follow!

Lubbock Lupus Group – LLG | Facebook

Samantha and I discussed the possibility for more lupus related posts through the blog. Our reach is limited right now but please reach out if you would like to read more. The blog post has comment options, you can contact me via the contact button on authorarielpierce.com, email me at authorarielpierce@gmail.com and/or connect with me on Instagram.

Ariel Pierce (@authorarielpierce) • Instagram photos and videos

Would y’all want to hear more about Samantha’s experience with lupus? Would y’all want to hear more lupus facts? Would you want to know more about the research being done at Texas Tech University? Please let us know and we will work on it!

Samantha is using the hashtags #lupusawarenessmonth and #lupuswarrior within her Facebook group posts. Use these hashtags and help her spread awareness for lupus!

Mental Health Monday

Y’all! I’m over here having a blast with this blog, website, and social media page. I’m still getting my feet wet and haven’t landed on how I plan to maintain consistency, but I have plans in the works.

The last class I completed at Southern New Hampshire University helped me hone my goals for my platform and writing career.

Let me take a moment to hype up Southern New Hampshire University. They have an online program where I am currently crawling, at the slowest possible pace, towards a bachelor’s degree in English and Creative Writing with a concentration in Fiction. I’ve never felt so cared about by a school and I’ve never met anyone in person. This school checks in REGULARLY. The consistency, emails, calls, etc., are all wonderful.

Check them out: www.snhu.edu

My primary goal is to work towards publishing my children’s book, in honor of my son, and my novel, in honor of my best friend.

Another goal is to be an advocate for mental health.

The last goal would be to share my experiences as a parent.

My first few posts were geared towards the books I am writing. My son pops up here and there within my website and blog posts. The one focus I seem to have right now is mental health. I have lists of ideas for different blog posts all centering around mental health.

To keep y’all in the know, I plan to launch a new series of blog posts on Mondays. They will all be grouped under the umbrella name “Mental Health Monday,” but will have individual names each week.

If you were following along with the two Lupus posts, you’ll see we skipped a Wednesday. Teaming with Samantha, writing, editing, and getting a post out was harder than I thought! I hope to have one final post to finish out the month, so don’t worry. I mention this as I cannot promise to be 100% consistent. I am still a full-time employee, full-time mom, and have so many background things going on. (Did I mention crawling towards another bachelor’s degree?)

I am also struggling with my own mental health challenges that some days make it harder for me to accomplish my goals. Either way, I’m shooting for each Monday to launch a post. If I don’t do a blog post, I’ll try to post a few Instagram posts to keep y’all engaged!

Let me know what topics you would like me to write about! Add a comment below this post or interact with my Instagram posts. A few topics I already have cooking are:

Crushed Dreams
Microaggressions
Being a single parent
Mondays

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Here is a little mental health update for those who read last week’s blog post, “Big Dreams and Big Struggles.” If you read the post, you’ll know I am struggling with food and my overall health.

I’m having another challenging night. It’s Sunday, my son is in bed, and I have a few hours before I plan to sleep. The thoughts are trickling in.

Mondays are always good days to start fresh.
It’s just a snack.
You had dinner at 5, that was five hours ago, go ahead and eat something else.
You ate healthy this morning; an unhealthy snack won’t make a huge difference.

I might need to start being honest about my struggles with my therapist. The nonchalant attitude about it being no big deal is not doing me any justice. I advocate for others to seek help when they need it but feel embarrassed when I admit I’m struggling more than what I lead others to believe.

All the conscience and logical thoughts are also there.

Don’t wait, start now with healthy choices.
It starts as a snack, but you usually take it too far.
You’re not hungry.
It does make a difference.

Why do I keep losing? Why do I keep making the choices I don’t want to make?

I haven’t lost today. I decided to try what I did last Sunday night and start writing. Writing helps distract my brain from unhealthy thoughts. The problem is, I don’t always turn to writing or something else that may be helpful. I wrote last week’s post on a Sunday. Weekends are generally less hectic. I try to let go of the stressful week and enjoy being with my son. I am writing, again, on a Sunday night. This weekend passed uneventfully. My son and I enjoyed a Saturday morning full of activities and hung out all day today at home. It feels easier to turn to writing on the weekend because there are not as many stressors.

During the week I am faced with so much stress. After getting my son into bed, I literally shove all the snacks possible in my body. The comfort is immeasurable in those moments. That is, until I get on a scale, or realize even my stretchy legging jeans are tight. I cannot seem to let go of the stress I hold during the week caring for so many other people.

I imagine many of y’all feel similar thoughts. You’re a parent, a friend, a partner/spouse, a worker in the helping profession, a worker in any profession. Your choices impact so many other people. You must be 100% for those in your life, when you finally have a moment to yourself, you crash. You don’t treat yourself to the 100% you deserve. Eventually, you are doing anything simply to cope and get through each day. That’s how unhealthy habits begin, like my challenges with food.

My mental health posts wont all be about my struggles with food. Trust me, I have many other struggles that I am happy to share. I don’t share to receive pity; I share to show those who may also be struggling that they are not alone. Our struggles are often many and strong. Unfortunately, we generally keep them inside until they manifest in a way that hurts.

No one deserves to hurt in silence to make those around them feel comfortable. If you’re struggling with similar battles or any battle, just know, I am here with you! My website/blog and social media page are safe places! Share your dreams and your struggles. Life isn’t easy but you’re doing great!

Ariel Pierce (@authorarielpierce) • Instagram photos and videos

Big Dreams and Big Struggles

Seeing my name across the front of a novel is the ultimate dream. I want to trace my fingers along each of the letters in my name and spin in tiny circles, giggling to myself about achieving being a published author.

While I’m achieving my dreams, I also want to be mindful of the opportunity I may have to impact other’s lives through my content. I don’t want to miss out on the chance to build a place for my readers to feel safe. I don’t want them to read my book, feel happy for a few days, then go back to a potentially similar existential dread I feel most days.

I’ve often thought about “blogging.” I think I have things that are important to say and may be important for others to read. I’ve also felt simply having a place to write about whatever I want would be amazing. I am not up to date on what the world thinks is good blog content. I do not know the purpose of every blog out there. My understanding of its main purpose is to connect.

I want to connect. I want to impact others. I want to use this chance I have to be a positive influence and make the most of it.

We shouldn’t be afraid to be ourselves. Whether you’re an almost 30-year-old aspiring author (like me!), famous, or plan to remain hidden from the eyes of most of the world, we deserve to be ourselves. We deserve to share what we experience and not be afraid of what others think. (If you’re racist, homophobic, or any type of person that is spreading hate then you need to seek help, and please, do not be yourself). For the most part, we’re all trying to get through each day the best we can.

If I published a book, became well known, and kept my struggles private, I would regret it daily. I want people to know I have big dreams, but I also have big struggles. I question if I am worthy of my dreams. I question what my purpose is in this world. I’m working hard to push through my internal battles to help others do the same because we are worthy no matter what others tell us or what we tell ourselves.

I share the following information to show a look into my brain, a look into my struggles.

———

(There are curse words below, fyi!)

The best pizza in the world is Totino’s Combination Party Pizza. I will not debate this because I know it is true. You don’t need to add anything but throw a little ranch and parmesan cheese on it, and it’s added perfection. This isn’t an ad, I simply love their pizza, haha!

It’s roughly 10 o’clock where I live, and I can’t stop thinking about throwing one into the oven. The problem is, I had one for dinner about four hours ago. Four hours seems a little bit more reasonable than if I ate it an hour ago, but I don’t feel hungry. I legitimately can’t stop thinking about food.

My brain is actively attempting to convince myself to go eat this pizza. Like, the rationales going on in my head are astonishing. You skipped breakfast today, you can eat a bit more. There’s only one left so you can finish it and then work on eating healthier tomorrow. It has been a few hours, it’s okay to eat again.

I’M NOT HUNGRY.

I started this health management program recently. My job advertised it as being covered by our insurance. I went strong for about two weeks. The videos are informative. The videos are not judgy. The videos are helpful. I learned how to pay attention to when I’m hungry and when I’m eating for other reasons.

So, right now, I know I’m not hungry. I am sitting here with an internal monologue going back and forth about whether I should do something to better my life or sit and press play on the next The Flash episode and daydream about Carlos Valdes (Cisco). I’m only on season 4 so please don’t tell me if something bad happens to him! Carlos is pretty tempting, but I want to write. I want to exercise. I want to do something to work towards reaching my goals. I haven’t figured out why I consistently choose lying around and doing nothing when it’s not what I want to do.

This food battle has been ongoing for as long as I can remember, but lately seems much worse. The internal arguments are occurring daily and the “good angel” on my shoulder is losing. My “bad angel” side is creative with late night snack creations. It makes anything sound appetizing late at night when I know it shouldn’t.

I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been. I’m the most stressed I’ve ever been. I’m the most dissatisfied with life I’ve ever been. I’m the loneliest I’ve ever been.

My therapist is consistently the one I spill out these frustrations to. I don’t want to eat, but I do it anyways. I literally hate myself in that moment, but I do it anyways. I know this is against my health goals, but I do it anyways.

I can’t, logically, figure out how to stop. I can for brief periods of time but then I’m back being led by the “bad angel,” within weeks.

I’m so easily thrown off by a stressful day of work, the downs of being a single parent, the seemingly forever sense of loneliness, the most recent hurtful words said by someone I care about, or the feeling that my life will always be the same and I’ll never achieve more than where I am in life right now.

My brother had a shirt when we were kids that read, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” I heard a clip of a song on Tiktok by an artist that goes by Jordy. The song is called “Sticks and Stones (feat. Charlotte Sands)” and is on Jordy’s album Mind Games. One of my favorite lyrics in this song is, “…sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will fucking kill me…” The context is a little different, but the words are important.

I’m not one to use curse words often but like the lyric in the song, it feels necessary. Words fucking hurt. WORDS HURT. Words not only hurt when they’re directed at you in a negative context. They hurt when they come from someone who is hurting and simply expressing themselves. I am not able to forget things easily. I cannot let go of seeing someone else in pain.

I look into the eyes of hurting people daily. My own eyes reflect pain each morning and each night. My son’s eyes reflect confusion when I snap at him because I am struggling to manage the emotions going on inside of me.

Today felt different. I decided to sit down to attempt to edit another blog post, the intrusive pizza thoughts began, and I became angry. I said to myself, “don’t you dare.” “Don’t you dare take time away from your goals to do something you know is going to hurt you.” Writing this blog post saved me today. Today I made the choice to focus on my dreams and won the battle against the “bad angel” tempting me.

I don’t anticipate this war ever ending. Tomorrow will be another battle as I continue working to be healthier.

I’m thankful for another chance to reach my dreams. I’m thankful for everyone who may read these words and those who may not.

If you’re struggling with similar battles or any battle, just know, I am here with you! My website/blog and social media page are safe places! Share your dreams and your struggles. Life isn’t easy but you’re doing great!

Lupus Awareness Month x2

Happy Wednesday x2!

It is just me today.

Samantha is being amazing and preparing for her upcoming lupus fundraiser.

Check out The Lubbock Lupus Group’s event, Power of Purple Walk for Lupus on May 21, 2022!

Power of Purple Walk for Lupus | Facebook

I want to take a moment and speak to the important mental health technique of saying “no.” If you are like me, and Samantha, you probably feel some type of way when you feel you let someone down. You likely say yes to things you did not want to simply because you care about the person asking. You may say yes because you originally wanted to, but other priorities are piling up.

My website and blog are a recent venture thanks to a class I completed at Southern New Hampshire University. They shared with me the value of starting to build your platform even if you do not have any published content for viewers/readers. I asked Samantha pretty last minute about helping me with lupus awareness blog posts. Samantha is a mom to four, a wife, the President of the Lubbock Lupus Group, an employee, and so many other roles.

After being as dramatic as possible about whatever ailment, my body is currently fighting, I checked in with Samantha about this week’s post. She shared she had much to do to prepare for her upcoming event and simply was feeling overwhelmed. Thankfully, she shared she was not up for a post this week! How amazing is that?!

My hope in sharing this little bit of information is for it to be read by someone who struggles setting boundaries for fear of how other’s will respond. It is absolutely okay for you to set boundaries and you have no obligation to explain why they are being set. It is absolutely okay for you to say yes one day and then say no the next. We do not know how we are going to be feeling or what we are going to be experiencing each day.

Not only is it important for everyone to practice setting boundaries, but it is also important for everyone to be receptive of the one who is setting boundaries. I know people will find some sort of example to throw out about how people can be flaky, disrespectful, and blow people off but you will more than likely always find an example when you are trying to justify your feelings. Take a person’s response at its face value and move on. If you feel comfortable enough having a conversation about the experience later, then you likely have a positive relationship with that person, and they are a safe person to hear your feelings.

Lupus is the perfect example to help explain why respecting boundaries is important. Many people have uttered the words, “You don’t look sick,” to Samantha. Those who are unfamiliar with lupus expect for her to have some sort of visible physical symptom of the disease. That is not the case with every person who is diagnosed. That is not the case for many diagnosed with several different diseases.

The point is, if a person is stating “I don’t feel well,” “my body hurts,” “I’m not feeling up for this today,” etc., believe them. Only that person knows how they feel, and they do not have to have a visible symptom to make those around them believe or respect their response.

Samantha was at work with me one day, looked stunning as usual, appeared perfectly healthy, and was induced into a coma the next day due to a lupus flare up. Samantha knew something was off with her body, shared with those she loved, and sought out medical recommendations to address the problem. If people doubted her reports, who knows where she would be if she did not seek help.

Please support the ones you love when they share with you what they need.

Please speak up about what it is you need.

If someone you love has a chronic illness, speak with them about what symptoms you should be looking out for in case they may not be able to advocate for themselves.

Samantha is using the hashtags #lupusawarenessmonth and #lupuswarrior within her Facebook group posts. Use these hashtags and help her spread awareness for lupus!

Lupus Awareness Month

Happy Wednesday!

May is Lupus awareness month! Each Wednesday during the month of May, I will be sharing my blog with my best friend! If you read the GTS blog, you know a little about Samantha and her lupus diagnosis. Lupus awareness month is the perfect opportunity for y’all to get to know her a little more until you can hold the book, based on her life (and mine), in your hands!

Samantha sent me an excerpt she completed, and I tweaked it a little (she’ll tell you I basically flipped everything around, hah!) because my brain does not allow me not to edit! Here we go:

Hi! As you already know, my name is Samantha! In this initial post, I will be sharing the beginning of my Lupus journey, thanks to one of my main supporters, Ariel.

Around the age of 10, I moved with my parents and siblings into a new house. I remember being scared to sleep alone in my new room, so I chose to sleep on the floor in my parent’s room. Each day I experienced body aches and overall soreness, but I continued sleeping in their room each night.

A few weeks passed and I noticed other body changes that did not seem to relate to sleeping on the floor. My appetite was nonexistent, my body weight dropped suddenly, and my hair started falling out. Going to school felt like a chore, especially gym class. I remember running pacers up and down the gym and moving as if in slow motion.

During the summer, I would sleep all day long and not eat. My mom tried everything to get food into my system. She made a meal of Spanish rice and pinto beans with a tortilla one day. I could barely lift the fork.

These concerns continued, and after a few weeks, I found myself sitting at an Urgent Care center with my mom and brother.

At the age of eleven, I received the diagnosis of Systemic Lupus Erythematosus or SLE.

Check in next week to read what happens next!

I hope y’all enjoyed this sprinkle of Samantha’s story. I met my amazing friend in the fall of 2013, after being hired on as a seasonal worker at Target. Samantha is now in her 30s and has lived with her diagnosis for 20+ years.

Over the next three weeks, Samantha will continue to share more about her personal experience, provide lupus facts, and simply raise awareness of the diagnosis.

Samantha is currently the president of the Lubbock Lupus Group, a non-profit organization raising money to help fund lupus research. She manages a Facebook page for people to follow along with what the organization is doing and to add a support group like style to those living with the diagnosis or loved ones of those with the diagnosis. I shared the link originally in the GTS blog post but will continue to share it in future posts.

Lubbock Lupus Group – LLG | Facebook

Follow the page as Samantha is sharing lupus facts all month long! She also posts helpful articles, posts addressing the medication prescribed to manage symptoms, motivational messages, and often funny memes when all you can do is attempt to laugh through the struggles.

Feel free to share her group for others living with lupus to find a support network or simply to continue spreading awareness throughout the world!

Samantha is using the hashtags #lupusawarenessmonth and #lupuswarrior within her posts. Use these hashtags and help her spread awareness for lupus!

Introduction to Adventure Awaits Book Club

The intention to start a book club did not exist when I posted this in January 2021. I imagined someone might post a club I could join or simply just comment a few book suggestions. I received multiple comments suggesting starting a club of my own. So, I did. We chose our first book in February of 2021.

Creating a Facebook group is pretty simple and Zoom lets you host free 40 minute meetings so it seemed like a task I could manage. As I write this blog post, the group has read and discussed 15 books! 15 BOOKS! I have friends who have consumed over five times that amount in one year, but I am still thankful I have been able to share my love of reading with old friends and new friends.

I do not have a plan to open up the group to anyone outside of friends or friends of other group members. However, I will share the books we are reading and y’all can follow along with us through blog posts!

We typically meet to discuss the books on the last Sunday of each month, sometimes rolling into the next month. I will post sometime between the 1st and 5th of each month with a summary of the Book Club’s thoughts and the book choice for the following month. You can also find a list of the current and past books under the Book Club menu option on the home page.

Feel free to comment any book suggestions and maybe you will see your book listed as our next pick!

GTS

During the summer of 2019, I completed a class at Southern New Hampshire University. The final project was a short story about any topic and in any genre. I would be lying if I said the first draft of the story was not created the day it was due. Unfortunately, the first draft is long gone but the final draft earned me an A!

I am uncertain of the thought process that led me to the idea for the short story I created. Like when I created “You Made Me A Superhero,” my brain began swirling ideas late at night. I spent the next couple hours bawling my eyes out as the saddest words poured out on my computer.

My best friend, Samantha Acuña has a chronic illness called Lupus. It is an autoimmune disease in which her body is constantly attacking her healthy cells. I do not want to claim to be an expert, so that will be as far as I go into the disease explanation.

Please Follow the Lubbock Lupus Group – LLG Facebook page, managed by Samantha, to learn more! This is also a great page for support if you have not yet found a Lupus support community. Lubbock Lupus Group – LLG | Facebook

In February of 2015, Samantha experienced a Lupus flare up that led to her hospitalization and being induced into a coma that lasted nine days. Almost exactly a year prior to her hospitalization, she experienced the loss of her, three-year-old, daughter in a tragic accident.

The short story I created, currently titled GTS, followed Samantha as she found herself in “Heaven.” She soon realizes she has the chance to see her daughter again. Once reunited, her daughter explains to her that she has not passed away and is still on Earth in a coma. She spends time with her daughter but eventually must make the choice to return to Earth where multiple family and friends await to see if she will awaken or stay in “Heaven” with her daughter.

After writing this story, I sent it to Samantha. I asked what her thoughts were on me turning the story into a novel. She supported the idea and has been a part of the journey ever since. I promised her one day she would be with me if we travel to share the book with the world.

I have documented parts of the story in a special edition Disney Wisdom journal. The quote on the front of the journal states, “Sometimes the right path is not the easiest one.” The quote was said to come from Grandmother Willow in Pocahontas. I felt it was an appropriate quote as this adventure in writing this novel has not been easy.

There are days when I have hours’ worth of content flowing from my hands. Sometimes I will go months with no sign of inspiration anywhere. There have been days I have questioned if I will ever hold this novel in my hand. I fear daily that my best friend will be taken from this world before I complete the novel.

Then I speak with my friend and know she is my reason to push forward. Then I receive a birthday cake from my mom shaped like a book with my current title on it and I know I have people cheering me on. Then I see my son with joy in his eyes and see my reason for following my dreams.

Writing this novel is the epitome of “Adventure Awaits.” I have so much to look forward to and I cannot wait to share it with all future readers!

You Made Me A Superhero

I swear magic spilled out of my fingertips. One night in July of 2018, about an hour after my son fell asleep, my brain began swirling ideas. Reveling in the fact that I created a human and was crushing the single parent game, a book idea came to my mind.

The Adventure Awaits theme covered our walls. Maps, pictures from different adventures, and the below picture inspired the idea. What would one consider to be the biggest adventure? Being a superhero answered that question.

I realized I felt like a superhero. Being a CPS caseworker and a big sister provided limited insight into being a parent. At the end of the day, those children belonged to someone else, and I did very little “heavy lifting.” However, after having my son, something in me changed. I bet there is some sort of science behind the change, but something about being a mom caused an internal shift. I became inducted into a parent’s club where I suddenly held the secrets to parenting. I became a superhero.

I pulled out my only clipboard, bought on clearance when our local Office Depot closed, grabbed a handful of blank white paper and the closest writing utensil, which happened to be a blue sharpie, and began to write. I currently have three paper drafts tucked away, in my pink filing cabinet my mom gifted me for my birthday shortly after I wrote the draft. I told her I needed a safe place for my drafts, and she knew what to do! A neat, typed draft is also stored on my iPad, computer, and in an email folder. I made sure to have multiple drafts in case of emergency.

The outcome is a children’s book called “You Made Me a Superhero.” It is about how becoming a mom gave me superpowers. I hope to publish it with a character who looks like my son. I have sent it to numerous friends, coworkers, and friends of friends who considered completing the illustrations. It is still hanging out in all its numerous hiding spots until I figure out a plan for illustrations, but it is ready to be shared with the world once that is done!

Parenting is not easy. Like most superheroes, we do not have all the answers. We often wonder if we are doing the right thing or if our choices will screw our kids up. However, be mindful of all the things you have done for your child since they entered the world. You will be surprised by all the superpowers you did not notice you had all along!