I remember all the tactics of young Ariel to hide the fact that she was on her period.
I slid pads up my sleeve as I creeped to the bathroom.
I lingered in classrooms to be the last one out so I could grab a pad and get to the bathroom.
I brought cute bags to distract from what was inside.
I tied hoodies around my waste in case any blood leaked on my pants.
I put on a fake smile daily so no one could see the pain cramps I experienced on my period.
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My daughter’s friend came to our house recently. She told my daughter to tell me what happened to her. My daughter told her to tell me. Her friend whispers, “I got my period.”
That whispered sentence broke something in me. It brought back every frustrated emotion I experienced about dealing with my period as a child. I could see in her eyes a fear that she shouldn’t have to live with.
I made it clear that she didn’t have to worry about hiding that in our house. I try to be vocal about periods. My son has been told about them numerous times when I explain why I’m buying pads or why I don’t feel good sometimes while on my period. I told her that we would make sure we got whatever products she preferred to have at our home so she didn’t have to worry about whether or not she could come hang with her friend if she happened to be on her period a day she wanted to come. I talked with her and my daughter for a few minutes about periods and answered any questions they had.
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We went to a water park recently to an event hosted by my employer. I, unfortunately, started my period in route to the waterpark. I apparently had not been paying attention to my tracking schedule and did not come prepared.
My best friend came with me to the waterpark. I’m over here whispering to her that I started my period and didn’t have any tampons with me. I was embarrassed. I gave her a quarter and asked if she could try to grab me a tampon out of their machine they had in the bathroom while I got my daughters dressed and ready.
The machine took my quarter but produced no tampon. I was about to freak out. Thankfully, a kind person saw her not get one and offered one of theirs to her. I was able to go about the evening without issue.
At the end of the event I, again, needed a tampon. My friend had to leave a bit earlier than I did, so I was going to have to figure it out myself. I couldn’t convince myself to go in the bathroom and ask the long line of people trying to get in and get out if any of them had a tampon they could spare.
So, I found an employee. Awkwardly, the only employees I could find were men. Honestly, the two I found looked like teenagers. I informed them that there were no tampons in the machine in the bathroom and asked if there were any I could get.
One of them immediately said, “Yep, absolutely, let me grab one for you!”
I was a bit shocked honestly. He comes back, and hands me two indicating he thought two might be helpful. This young man didn’t even flinch about the concept of helping me get this item. I don’t know why I expected things to be awkward.
But the reality is, I’ve spoken to men that don’t even know what a tampon is. I’ve spoken to men that scrunch up their face in disgust when a period is even mentioned. I’ve spoken to men that laugh when periods are discussed or make comments that they try to avoid their spouse and/or daughter when they’re on their period.
As a 34 year old, I wish I was over my anxiety related to my period. I still sneak off with a pad to the bathroom if I need to go at work. I still worry about leaks and what I’m going to do if that happens. I get nervous to ask to use the restroom if I’m in a meeting but know I need to step out and change a pad. I get nervous that people are going to judge me if they find out I prefer pads over tampons. I turn into a mute person so no one can accuse me of being “moody” or indicate something’s wrong with me because I’m on my period.
That’s so annoying.
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Yesterday my husband and I took our daughter shopping for an “emergency kit.” The day her friend mentioned starting her period, we came up with the idea of having this kit sent with her to school as she begins the transition into middle school.
I started my period in eighth grade. I was at school when it started. I remember I had on a silky purple pair of underwear. I loved that pair of underwear. It was so comfy and soft. I didn’t tell a soul and basically just kept bleeding until I got home and could tell my mom. Thankfully, that pair of underwear was thick and I didn’t bleed too much.
My husband and I didn’t want our daughter having to go to school worried about what happens if she starts her period while at school.
Aside from the period products, we also decided it would be nice to have items for any kind of emergency. Your hair is getting on your nerves and you want to put it up? Hair ties. You forgot to put on deodorant in the morning? Deodorant. You got a runny nose and the classroom is out of tissues? Tissues.
She now has a kit that includes/will include:
- Pads/liners… basically whatever period related products she wants
- Wipes
- A waterproof bag should she leak and need to switch out a pair of underwear
- A pair of underwear
- Hair ties
- Vaseline
- Deodorant
- Hand sanitizer
- Tissues
- Nail glue (our girl loves to do her nails lol)
She had too much fun picking out the items and finding the perfect bag to put them in. The hope is that she won’t be embarrassed to pull out her kit if she needs it. We’ve told her that her comfort and health is much more important than anyone else’s opinion on periods.
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My goal in writing this blog is to continue contributing to the narrative on how to decrease stigma related to periods. I’m not unique in being annoyed that women feel the need to hide this natural aspect about their body. I’m not unique in being irritated that society considers women weaker or emotionally unstable because we experience periods.
I’m starting by helping my children understand periods are natural and keeping the conversation about them open in our home. I’m starting by making sure our kids have emergency kits. I’m starting by not trying to hide my period products when I’m in a situation where I’m around others when I need to use the restroom. I’m starting by posting this blog in the hopes that a larger dialogue can occur because of it.
Being a human is hard. Being a human that bleeds regularly is also hard. We don’t need to make things harder on ourselves to meet made up societal expectations.
If you’re reading this, and you experience(d) a period, please let me know any additional ideas for how to continue improving societal conditions related to periods! If you’re reading this and can’t experience a period, please just be chill. Be like the person from the water park. Educate yourself. Support those around you who do experience a period each month. Don’t make unnecessary comments. Don’t assume anything about our ability to function in society because of something outside of our control. Just be chill.
Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this! I hope you are finding moments of joy and experiencing so much love!
Ariel Pierce 