Replace the Pan

2022 doesn’t bring any horrific memories to mind.  

I celebrated my son’s fourth birthday with his TT. I celebrated my 30th birthday with my mom and her best friend. I continued my book club I created in 2021. I traveled to another state for the first time on my own to celebrate my cousin’s wedding. I saw one of my sisters for the first time in around 10 years. I created a website, published 27 blogs, and created an Instagram page, all to support my writing dreams.  

Despite all the good, I sure continued to be dramatic as hell in my therapy sessions.  

Anyways…  

The first day of a new year often brings about thoughts of starting fresh, creating resolutions, and thinking about one’s past in hopes of seeing a better future.  

I have numerous “resolutions” for 2023. Call them whatever you want. Resolutions. Goals. Aspirations. Dreams. I know some people don’t like the concept of resolutions, but I think it’s a generally chill concept.  

There’s a few categories for my resolutions. Here’s a rundown: 

  1. Reading Writing Resolutions
    a. Read 12 books with Adventure Awaits Book Club
    b. Finish Creative Writing/English degree
    c. Research publishing options for my children’s book
    d. Complete rough draft of GTS
    e. Fill a journal each month with writing
  2. Physical Health Resolutions
    a. Go to the gym every day there isn’t a legitimate conflict
    b. Eat more veggies
    c. Drink the daily recommended amount of water every day
  3. Mental Health Resolutions
    a. Be more productive in therapy
    b. Write when I feel my brain telling me I should snack
    c. Spend more time with friends

I may not accomplish all I set out to do in 2023. Life has a way of getting in the way of your plans. However, I want to comment on little things.  

I had similar resolutions for 2022. One little thing I’m proud of is a bit odd. I was legally married from 2011 until 2015. During that marriage we bought a pan. My husband taught me how to make a delicious chicken recipe in that pan. Overall, I have happy memories of the pan. I became very attached to this pan. I kept the pan in the divorce. I got into a physical altercation with a later boyfriend who tried to keep the lid to this pan when we broke up. I’ve cooked about every stove top meal in this pan since I bought it.   

I frequently had to tighten the screw to the handle on this pan. Every now and then I would find black flakes from the pan in my food. It had many scratches. The pan lived a much longer life than it should have.  

One thing not on my 2022 resolution list was to get rid of this pan.  

In August of 2022, I bought a new pan. I let go of the old one.  

This was such a little thing that felt huge.  

I realized that replacing this pan was so huge because I was releasing the Ariel I imagined I would be when I was 19 and got married. I have been hating myself for so long because my life is not what I pictured it would be.  I realized that I deserve to let go of the anger I have held for so long about my failed marriage. I realized that I learned so much from that marriage and manifested those feelings into the pan. I’ve created so many meals in this pan that past Ariel would be proud of. I’ve created a life that past Ariel should be proud of. I deserve to be proud of the life I have even though it’s not what I thought it would be.  

I created this blog post to say, replace the pan.  

Find the little things in your life that you don’t think will have a huge impact but might looking back on them.  

Be proud of yourself and the life you’re living. You deserve to be happy even if your life isn’t what your past self imagined for your future.  

Don’t be afraid of resolutions. Create an absurdly long list and still be happy if you accomplish nothing on it. Your worth is not determined by what you do. You’re worthy simply because you exist.  

PS: I’ll get a picture posted on my Instagram of the pan if you’d like to see it!

https://www.instagram.com/authorarielpierce/

Stop Telling People Life Will Get Better

I’ve never seen life get better. 
 
I’ve seen people experience more physical pain as they age.  

I’ve seen people desperate to leave their abusive relationships but don’t know how.  

I’ve seen people lose their spouse they spent most of their life with.  

I’ve seen elderly people sitting with no purpose and slowly fading from this world because of it.  

I’ve seen people continuously have money problems. Things keep getting more expensive, but the income rarely goes up.  

I’ve seen people begging God to tell them what their purpose is.  

I’ve seen children die and their parents struggling with life afterwards.  

I’ve seen people struggle to find any sort of beauty in themselves despite being gorgeous inside and out.  

I’ve seen people ashamed of their homes because they can’t find motivation to clean them.  

I’ve seen people desperate to find love but continuously let down.  

I’ve seen children cry because no adult wants to put effort into loving and caring for them.  

I’ve seen children use drugs because no one taught them any different.  

I’ve seen adults use drugs because they can’t cope with the trauma of their past.  

I’ve seen beautiful minds destroyed by lesser ones.  

I’ve seen people desperate to have children, but their bodies can’t support life.  

I’ve seen people who want to parent their children but don’t have the physical or mental capabilities to do so.  

I’ve seen adults still desperately wanting the love their parents aren’t capable of giving them.  

I’ve seen parents cry because their child will never speak due to a mental or physical health diagnosis.  

I’ve seen grandparents lose hope because they can’t have the relationships they would like with their grandchildren. 

I’ve seen people defeated by another car repair cost they can’t cover.  

I’ve seen parents defeated over not being able to afford to celebrate a holiday or birthday.  

I’ve seen people celebrate holidays alone because they have no family or friends around. 

I’ve seen people fighting for equitable treatment only for another racist act to hit the news the next day.  

I’ve seen people actively attack someone because their skin is not white. 

I’ve seen myself smiling in a reflection only to be thinking I wish someone could see my pain. 
 
Life doesn’t get better.  

We only learn how to cope with the pain.  

We learn how to survive in this life we didn’t ask for.  

We attempt to find purpose in a world that fights to take it from us. 
 
Stop telling people it gets better.  

That invalidates their pain.  

That invalidates their feelings that despite having what others deem would make one happy, it might not be enough. 

Life doesn’t get better. 

A better paying job doesn’t equate to better.  

Finding a partner doesn’t equate to better.  

Having children doesn’t equate to better.  

The societal “rights of passage,” “norms,” or “things one should have accomplished before they die,” do not equate to better.  

This life is hard. The hardest thing we’ll ever do as humans is live.   

Humans can do better.  

We can work to build systems that will help break negative family cycles.  

We can fund mental health support.  

We can support others through their lives regardless of if they make choices you wouldn’t.  

We can be kind.  

We can love.  

The desire to not live has spilled from so many mouths I’ve encountered in my 30 years. There is nothing wrong with the humans attached. There is something wrong with the world.  

We may not be able to stop life from trying to crush us, but we can all try to make it a little easier for ourselves and our fellow humans.  

I don’t know how to fix it, but I know that life doesn’t get better, but humans can do better. 
 
If you are struggling with living, you’re not alone. If you do not have someone in your support system to contact, please seek out counseling or call the suicide and crisis hotline at 988.  

Precious Monster

My first parenting thought was, “They’re legit going to let me leave the hospital with this baby?” 

Since then, I’ve thought “this kid is the coolest,” “if I could give this kid back, I would,” “my child is a beautiful ray of sunshine,” and “this child is a monster.”  

Here are a few statements of what parenting is to me.  

———— 

Parenting is asking your child for the 25th time to stop sniffing your knees.  

Parenting is finding your glasses in a pair of shoes you haven’t worn for three weeks. 

Parenting is buying a stuffed animal under the pretense of it being for your child.  

Parenting is begging for it to be bedtime only to spend an hour looking at pictures of your child after they’re asleep.  

Parenting is looking in the eyes of the other adults your child terrorized for a period thinking, “if they only knew.”  

Parenting is making a “no toy zone” only to break your rule five seconds later because you’ll do anything for them to give you a second of peace.  

Parenting is annoying your coworkers everyday with new pictures of your child. 

Parenting is asking your child why their hands are fighting each other.  

Parenting is doing something funny one time and regretting it the remaining 56 times your child asks for you to repeat it.  

Parenting is saying “wow, that’s so cool” to all the things that are, in fact, not cool.  

Parenting is being shocked at the audacity of your child outsmarting you.  

Parenting is sitting on the floor of the bathroom doing homework, trying to dodge water hitting your laptop while your child takes a bath, because you decided to go back to school. 

Parenting is getting two cats for your child with the hopes they’ll stop asking for a dog. 

Parenting is having a box of sticks in your house because your child said they wanted a home and “our home is nice.”  

Parenting is spending the extra money on a second toy sword because “you need one too, mommy.”  

Parenting is wondering if your child is going to hate you one day because you have a sibling who doesn’t talk to your parent and that is scary.  

Parenting is spending much of your life snatching up your child before they run into the street or walk off in a store.  

Parenting is smiling awkwardly at all the people your child called “daddy” because your child has mostly only seen pictures of his real dad. 

Parenting is twirling around the room to make your child smile after he calls you a princess because you’re wearing a dress.  

Parenting is purposefully breaking the rules to games like “red light, green light” so you seem silly, and your child will laugh.  

Parenting is throwing a big first birthday only for a global pandemic to make you realize you prefer spending the day with your kid doing fun activities.  

Parenting is hearing phrases you say to your child perfectly used back at you in a snarky way.  

Parenting is having your child put their hands on your face and saying “it’ll be okay, mommy” when they see you crying.  

Parenting is being grateful for the parent who says “it’s ok, they’re just kids” when your child pushes theirs.

Parenting is doing whatever random ritual your child needs in their bedtime routine to make sure they go to sleep without issue.  

———— 

Figured I would add a bit of Mental Health Monday content to this blog. Parenting is hard. Keep doing your best even if you’re winging it every day.  

Make sure you’re taking care of your mental health so you can help your little one turn into a healthy adult. They didn’t ask to be here and you’re all they have most days.  

You got this! You’re doing a great job! Your child is likely your biggest fan but it sure wouldn’t hurt if you were also a fan of yourself.  

I love all you precious humans and your little monsters!  

———— 

We are struggling with so much every day.  I am here to be an advocate for mental health and helping others.  If you’re struggling with an internal battle, just know, I am here with you!  My website/blog and social media page are safe places!  Share your dreams and your struggles.  Life isn’t easy but you’re doing great! 

Bullet Journaling – Post Two

I adore bullet journaling.  I have around 80 journals (yes, the number keeps increasing) and I bought my first bullet journal a couple weeks ago.  I’ve seen bullet journals in passing on social media but never vibed with it because I like to fill my journals solely with words.  I didn’t feel creative enough or motivated enough to put effort into creating special designs.  It also seemed like a calendar that I would likely get bored of quickly.  

More and more bullet journal videos came across my TikTok and I became obsessed.  I loved how simple some made theirs and how they used it for so many different reasons.  As mentioned in my first bullet journaling post, the motivation behind starting this type of journaling was to help one of my teenage clients who has been having a tough time with school. 

Being a role model for clients is a huge aspect of my job.  If my clients see me taking positive steps to help my mental health, pursue other goals, and simply put time into creating a healthy lifestyle, maybe they will feel motivated to do the same.  I made sure my kiddo understood that they could do whatever they wanted with the journal, even throw it in the trash. I didn’t want them to work on the journal simply because I suggested it.  I want them to feel it actually helps them.

They seem to like it but I’m not in their brain, so I’ll write about my experience so far.  I’m almost hitting 15 days of having the bullet journal and being active with it.  I have 10 pages that I interact with on a daily basis.  I’ve been adding new ones as I go so it’s a little jumbled as I get used to the journal and figure out what is going to work for me. 

Here’s a run down of the 10 pages: 

  1. A one year writing log with a colored key representing the amount of minutes spent writing each day
  2. A one year reading log with a colored key representing the amount of minutes spent reading each day
  3. A one year water log with a colored key representing whether or not I drank my daily water goal
  4. Nine tiny October calendars with nine corresponding goals I track daily
  5. A one year emotions log with a colored key representing my emotions each day
  6. A page titled “Say Something Nice About Yourself” where I write something nice about myself each day during October 
  7. Two charts representing the daily steps I get and the amount of hours I sleep each day in October
  8. One page to track reasons why I did not accomplish the goals listed on page four
  9. Debt tracker to help build a focus on paying off debt
  10. An October Emotions check in where I write a sentence explaining the color I chose on page five

Like I mentioned, I add pages as I go so there are a few things I would change if I create a new bullet journal in the future. 

I would likely block off a few pages to have yearly pages where I track something the entire year.  Having them in one area of the journal would be more cohesive and make my brain a little less annoyed when I go from page four to five!  I also may want to add other one year pages in the future.

I would likely block off a few pages for random things like the debt tracker I created that are not necessarily associated with a specific month or even year. 

I would then block off a few pages for each month.  I like having page four but I wish it was closer to page eight.  I thought of page eight later.  I decided this when I considered my teenager.  They also created a habit page and an emotions page.  I didn’t want to see habits not completed with no explanation as to why.  I wanted them to be able to look at it at the end of the month and find a pattern.  What exactly led to more days of not completing the task than completing it?  What task did you accomplish pretty frequently that you may not want to track next month? 

I didn’t want to see the color(s) where she was having challenging emotions every day and having no place to process why.  Same goes for happier emotions, what contributed to those feelings and how can we build more of that into each day?  I figured adding an emotions check in page would be a good recommendation so they were able to look back and process through what was going on that day.  

For me, seeing my habits not marked simply because I didn’t make the time, is eye opening.  Also being able to note dates where the task was not possible for whatever reason is important so I acknowledge those days are not failures.  

Simply noting difficult emotions or not completing desired tasks and nothing to back it up would likely not help create desired behavioral changes either of us want to see.  I’ve already noted it in myself, I don’t like seeing multiple red squares on my writing page.  Red squares on my water tracking page means I could be contributing to dehydration.  Red in general, is pretty much a color that means I’m not where I want to be.  What can I do to have more green?  

The “Say Something Nice About Yourself” page is a lovely surprise.  I know I need to be better about speaking kind words about myself.  I’m a tough critic and often live in the negative space in my brain.  I appreciate taking a few moments each day and finding a positive attribute about myself.  I’ll show the picture of what I have so far so you can get an idea if you want to add a page like this to your bullet journal! 

I will continue to document my journey through bullet journaling.  I want to use this opportunity to inspire others to use it as a tool to support your overall health.   If anything, take a moment and say something nice about yourself!

I would love to read other people’s experiences, see suggestions for journaling ideas, and discuss how bullet journaling helps others.  Please share on the blog, comment/message on my Instagram page, or send an email to authorarielpierce@gmail.com!

30 Questions to Ask Your Partner

Here it is.  My first silly blog post. 

I love creating serious, thought provoking content, but coming up with this post brought me extreme joy.  

Have you ever done one of those “get to know you” quizzes with a potential or current partner?  Even if you haven’t, I’m sure we’ve all learned someone’s favorite color, middle name, and about their childhood pets.  

I created a list of 30 questions to know if you want to move forward in a relationship with a partner or to determine if you need to plan an escape.  I’m going to list the questions first and then I’ll go back and add my goofy perspective as to why I chose these questions. 

  1. Do you stop at stop signs?
  2. What is your favorite joke?
  3. What is your opinion on ghosts?
  4. What is your favorite kids show?
  5. What is the ideal number of pieces for a casual puzzle night? 
  6. What is something you collect?
  7. What is your favorite dinosaur?
  8. What is your opinion on the flat sheet?
  9. Do you prefer roller skates or roller blades?
  10. What is the best sandwich spot?
  11. What is your favorite shape?
  12. What is your opinion on amusement parks?
  13. What is your go to impressive trick in the pool?
  14. What is your favorite robot?
  15. What is your go to snack?
  16. What is the best gift you’ve ever received?
  17. Who is your go to person on a bad day?
  18. What is your favorite holiday?
  19. What is something you’ve thought of that would be cool if it was invented?
  20. What is a unique eating habit you have?
  21. How many books is too many?
  22. What is your favorite pair of shoes?
  23. What is the best sport to be a spectator?
  24. What is your opinion on balloons?
  25. What is your favorite book?
  26. What is your opinion on birthdays?
  27. What is your preferred seat on an airplane?
  28. What ingredients are in the perfect taco?
  29. What is your favorite photo booth memory?
  30. How do you park your car?

———————

Did any of these questions make you feel as if the answer to them would be the key to knowing if someone is your soulmate? 

Probably not, but here’s a tiny bit of feedback for them:

  1. Do you stop at stop signs?

How would the answer make you feel?  Are you like me and find it sexy when people follow basic traffic laws?  

  1. What is your favorite joke?

I mean… Do you really want to be with someone that can’t think of a joke?  Please consider the pressure of being put on the spot for this one.  Sometimes our minds go blank but this is a good attempt to find out if the person you are talking to has a sense of humor.  (Mine is: Why is 6 afraid of 7?) 

  1. What is your opinion on ghosts?

This is a good way to determine the open mindedness of a person.  If they laugh and say “of course not,” you may want to reconsider any future contact.  If they have a personal ghost experience, find out how often they tell that story because it could be a personality trait and that’s also concerning.  If they say “anything is possible,” that’s probably a safe answer.  

  1. What is your favorite kids show?

If they don’t have one, how often are they around kids?  Do they know anything about children or want to be a parent one day?  Did their childhood suck?  I feel like we’ve all found ourselves watching a cartoon longer than we had to because a kid we know was around.  Do they still appreciate childlike humor?  If not, how serious are we talking here?

  1. What is the ideal number of puzzle pieces for a casual puzzle night? 

The only appropriate answer is 300. 

  1. What is something you collect?

Is it cars?  I dated a car guy, and his hobby was EXPENSIVE.  Is it giraffes?  I have close to 100 giraffe related items and that may be an issue for some.  How is their hobby displayed and are you okay with that being a major part of your home decor?  Do you appreciate having an easy gift idea for birthdays and holidays?  A collector may be perfect for you if that is the case.

  1. What is your favorite dinosaur?

Again, do you really want to be with someone who can’t name a dinosaur?  

(Mine is the pachycephalosaurus)

  1. What is your opinion on the flat sheet?

How do you feel about people that don’t make their beds? How do you feel about people that do? Will the answer to this question contribute to arguments in the future and are you ready to deal with that? I think the flat sheet is a waste of money and space. I use a fitted sheet, a random blanket, never make my bed, and I’m set. Call me a monster, I dare you.

  1. Do you prefer roller skates or roller blades?

The answer doesn’t really matter specifically.  However, is your partner willing to go skating with you?  If not, then what’s wrong with them?

  1. What is the best sandwich spot?

Sandwiches are a solid food option when you can’t think of anything else.  Subway smells amazing but their sandwiches are pretty basic.  If your partner doesn’t have one or has a questionable favorite spot, evaluate your choices.  (Right now, I’m down with Which Wich)  

  1. What is your favorite shape?

If they look at you weird, run away.  If they aren’t willing to answer random questions that don’t seem to add any value, they’re probably going to be weird or rude when you’re feeling fat one day and are seeking comfort.  If they think it through and give an answer, they’re probably a chill person. 

  1. What is your opinion on amusement parks?

I swear if I hear the comment “you’re not a child” one more time… Why do you hate fun??

  1. What is your go to impressive trick in the pool?

This will give you the answer if they know how to swim or not.  If they don’t, do they not value their life?  They can’t be relying on you if y’all end up in a dangerous water situation some day.  I know, I know.  You can just avoid water… but… that’s not fun. 

  1. What is your favorite robot?

If they don’t have one, you’re definitely not dealing with a nerd.  If they start ranting about robots taking over, we’ve got another questionable personality trait to watch out for.  

  1. What is your go to snack?

Are you willing to share if y’all have the same favorite snack?  If you have the same favorite, could this bond y’all forever because you know it’ll always be in the house?  If they don’t like snacks, how often do they stare at themselves in the mirror, because… run.  

  1. What is the best gift you’ve ever received?

It’s always fun to learn about sweet memories.  If they don’t have one, maybe they need to process some trauma… Find out why the gift was the best.  If it’s because it was expensive… I ain’t sayin’ she a gold digger but…  This also gives you insight into their gift giving capabilities and if they value this ritual.  

  1. Who is your go to person on a bad day?

Is it their ex because that would be the craziest answer I could think of!  Okay, a pen pal from jail would probably be crazier.  Anyways, if they don’t have anyone, are you ready to be their “everything” because I’m not… Support systems are important and even though it’s hard, we gotta build them.  Life is tough.  

  1. What is your favorite holiday?

If they make a comment about holidays being too commercialized, run.  They’re no fun.  The more someone wants to celebrate, the better.  Life is hard and we need to celebrate more!  

  1. What is something you’ve thought of that would be cool if it was invented?

I just want to know if they’re possibly going to help us become rich… Take notes, because if they suck, steal their idea, and become rich by yourself.

  1. What is a unique eating habit you have?

You probably want to know as many things about their eating habits as possible because when you hit those rough periods, eating habits can make or break a relationship. 

  1. How many books is too many?

I’ll accept: “You can never have too many”, “I’ve always wanted a library in my house”, or the ever popularized quote by Lindsay Lohan, “The limit does not exist.”

  1. What is your favorite pair of shoes?

I just feel like a good shoe game is important.  That’s all.  

  1. What is the best sport to be a spectator?

Again, we’re looking for fun.  Even though I know very little about sports, I still enjoy being a spectator and absorbing all the silliness fans bring to a game.  (Mine is baseball.  It’s on my bucket list to catch a foul ball)

  1. What is your opinion on balloons?

Do you really want to deal with the trauma of balloons popping randomly at celebrations?  …Oh, you don’t have a traumatic balloon memory?  Just me… that’s okay. 

  1. What is your favorite book?

I’ve read a few potential partner’s favorite books and all I can say is, why did I talk to them for so long?  Someone’s favorite book says a lot about them.  (Mine is Calling Me Home by Julie Kibler)

  1. What is your preferred seat on an airplane?

Are you prepared for long road trips if they’re scared to fly?  Do you want to travel abroad but they want to stay in their hometown forever and never step foot in a plane?  Are they cool with the fact that you like traveling but are a little nervous and would prefer not to sit by the window?  Lots of helpful information from this question. 

  1. What is your opinion on birthdays?

If you hear “it’s just another day,” run.  Seriously, why do people hate fun?  It’s okay to celebrate yourself.  I’m sorry for whoever told you that you were not important enough to make your day as extravagant as possible.  

  1. What ingredients are in the perfect taco?

Are you cool with a basic white girl like me?  I love breakfast tacos and pretty much just like food in tortillas.  I have no solid preference in taco places.  I’m open to trying all the things though so that’s a bonus.  Knowing your potential partner’s food preferences is going to be huge… Feeding myself everyday is one of the things I didn’t expect to hate about being an adult.  

  1. What is your favorite photo booth memory?

This may give you a clue into if your partner is cheap or not.  If they say they don’t spend money on things like that, then that’s lame.  I enjoy all my silly picture strips.  I’m always down to spend 5 dollars to catch a cute memory. 

  1. How do you park your car?

I don’t have time for all you attention seekers who need to reverse into a parking spot.  

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This was so fun for me.  If you made it this far, I hope you know I’m only about 75% serious about this post.  I’m no expert on love so please keep that in mind.  I’m a single 30 year old who enjoys laughing and hope I pulled out a few laughs from all my readers.

What are the silly questions you would ask a potential partner?  Share with us!  Comment on this post, message/comment on my Instagram, or send an email and maybe I will create a second list one day with y’all’s suggestions!

Bullet Journaling

I started bullet journaling.  I have zero clue what I’m doing but it seemed like a fun way to support one of the teenagers I work with while also working on my self improvement.  

I’ve seen many people track habits in their journals.  This is the main purpose for the ones my kiddo and I are creating.  One of the habits I’m tracking with bullet journaling is writing.  The key I created for my writing page is the following: 

  • 0-15 Minutes – red
  • 16-30 Minutes – blue
  • 31-45 Minutes – black
  • 46-60 Minutes – orange
  • 61-90 Minutes – pink
  • 90+ Minutes – green 

When I met with the kiddo today, five red squares were screaming up at us on my writing page.  I started the journal five days ago so it’s not too catastrophic, but it felt impactful. 

When I explained the reasoning for suggesting bullet journaling, I stated it would give us the opportunity to see a visible representation of the choices we make.  Five red squares means nothing to anyone else but it means five days of no writing (they were all definitely 0) for me.  It means five days I didn’t take the opportunity to move closer to my goals.  

I explained, the more red squares there are the less chance I have to reach my goals.  I didn’t state that I am required to write every day.  I didn’t state I am a bad person for not writing.  I didn’t state the world would end if every square on the page held red.  

I simply explained it’s a representation of choice.  I have a dream of being a published author.  I want to hold a book with my name on it in my hands.  I have to put in work to accomplish this dream.  I have to make the choice to fit writing into my schedule.  

All that being said, there will hopefully be an increased number of blog posts appearing!  I am working through my need for perfection and the need to feel like all my blogs have to hold important messages.  I will likely throw up some silly posts here and there as some have come to mind recently.  

My goal is to fill the page next to the tracking chart with titles of blogs I write and any other projects I work on.  

If anyone has any bullet journaling suggestions, please comment below, message me on my Instagram, or send an email! 

I will post updates and share my journey through this with y’all! 

Here is the page I created! Please ignore the fact that I haven’t written in cursive, aside from my name, in… possibly years! I turned my mistake into a cute character though, so it’s cool!

To Clean or Not to Clean

It’s been about a month since I posted a Mental Health Monday blog. 

My mental health took a couple of hits recently that took away my spark to write.  I didn’t want to create any reactive material that lacked substance and wreaked anger.  I didn’t want to turn my physical tears into written sadness.  I’m still processing my feelings, mostly in therapy.  I’m really over here questioning all of my life choices and how I want to move forward in some aspects. 

I have a list of blog concept ideas, but more often than not, they sit on a list gathering dust until a burst of inspiration brings forth a post I feel is worthy to share with other humans.  Since my writing spark has been stomped on a bit, I am mostly writing out of sheer force.  I want to be open with my readers about my ongoing struggles while still putting out some sort of content that may be beneficial to someone.  

This blog idea has been kicking around in my brain for a few weeks.  A conversation with one of my teenage clients inspired me to use this concept for Mental Health Monday.  My teenage client is not a fan of some of their house chore rules.  I shared with them about my teenage attitude about chores.  I recall telling my mom “If you don’t want to see my dirty room, don’t come in here.”  Basically, I told them I get that cleaning feels super obnoxious and parents always seem to be doing too much. 

Then I gave them a little bit of a reality check.  My mom absolutely drove me bonkers as a kid.  She would constantly state the house was a mess and my brother and I would look around trying to find what it was that she deemed messy.  We, without a doubt, had the cleanest house out of all our friends.  I couldn’t wait to have my own place to get out from under her strict cleaning rules. 

Now that I’m a mom and have my own apartment, I regret so much.  I shared my regrets with my teenage client.  The reality is, when you are the primary person responsible for your home, your perspective shifts, or at least it did for me.  I am turning into my mom.  My cleaning standards are the farthest point humanly possible from teenage Ariel’s cleaning standards.  I have a place for everything and if I don’t I will hit add to cart until I’ve found some sort of container to ensure each item has a home.  I hate seeing dishes and laundry piling up.  

My teenage client reported to understand why their caregiver has high standards but still reported irritation.  I validated the irritation because I felt and still feel similar feelings.  

The reason this topic fits into the Mental Health Monday blog is because our homes are tied to our mental health.  I’m sure there is research out there about how cleanliness of your home can positively or negatively impact your mental health but I am going to speak to my experience alone, since I am an expert on my own thoughts and experiences. 

My mom would never (this is probably a stretch but it felt like never) leave dishes in the sink overnight and laundry would be promptly put away.  She is still this way and I didn’t understand why until I became a mom.  Pre-momhood Ariel had no qualms about leaving dishes or having items accumulate wherever they landed.  Now I feel embarrassed when my son goes to put a dish in the sink and it’s so full that he comes back asking what he should do.  I get embarrassed when I go to put shoes on his feet or give him a bath and notice dirt and crumbs on the bottoms of his feet.  I cringe when he climbs on top of the laundry pile that has been occupying his favorite jump spot on the love seat in my room.  I feel terrible when he trips over the vacuum I’ve completely ignored for a few days instead of putting it in its designated spot.  

My cleaning standards are high but my mental health doesn’t always match.  My mom washes dishes every day because if she doesn’t, it’s easier for the pile to get larger and more overwhelming.  That’s exactly what happens to me at times.  One day of ignored dishes turns into my cabinets being empty of all dishware.  Once it’s gotten to that point, I am more likely to eat out because it doesn’t require dishes but then leads to financial stress or negative thoughts because I’m not eating as healthy and avoiding health goals all in the name of avoiding washing dishes.  

The same goes for laundry.  If I put one load on the chair and leave it, somehow a month has gone by, four more loads have been added, and my outfits are chosen by digging for something that hasn’t been too wrinkled or covered in cat hair over the weeks. 

I’m nowhere near my mom’s level of actions when it comes to keeping a clean home.  However, I appreciate her abilities and hope I can teach my son the value of cleaning and how it truly does have an impact on our mental health.  

Another aspect of keeping up with your home is the concept of “out of sight, out of mind.”  I try to stay on top of what is easily visible.  Anything that doesn’t cause any issues or I can ignore is less likely to get done.  My bed and my bathroom are the main areas that I stay on top of.  I hang out on my bed often and use the bathroom regularly so keeping them clean feels necessary.  I can turn off the kitchen light and pretend it doesn’t exist if I want.  I can easily walk past the love seat and pretend the laundry isn’t reaching a height taller than myself.  I can close the microwave, close the blinds, ignore the dust, and wear socks if I don’t want to notice crumbs easily.  

I see posts on social media about saying things like, “the dishes can wait, spend time with your children.”  I would have likely shown that to my mom as a kid had social media been as prominent as it is now.  Now, it irritates me.  Everyone needs to do what works for them.  For me, I’m following in my mom’s footsteps and seeing the value of cleaning as soon as you can.  One days worth of dishes can turn into weeks of battling a mental health fight you didn’t want to fight.  

I’ve used cleaning as a huge bonding activity for my son.  He loves washing out his cups.  He knows where all his dishes go when they’re clean.  He loves chasing me around with his toy vacuum while I use the real one.  He is amazing at putting up all his toys in their corresponding buckets.  Our children are possibly going to be on their own one day.  It’s not easy figuring out an ideal balance, even more so as a single parent when you’re responsible for everything and cannot split with a partner. 

Find out what works for you, your family, and your home, and do that.  If it’s not perfect, it’s okay.  I know the feelings of feeling like you’re failing.  It’s a battle we’ll likely face until the end of time.  I constantly complain to my mom, “IT NEVER ENDS.  THERE’S ALWAYS SOMETHING TO DO.” 

It never ends.  There’s always something to do. 

Do your best.  That’s all you can do!

For real, though.  If anyone wants to come clean my microwave, clean the window seals, dust, and mop my floors, I would be forever grateful.  

Here’s a few photos of the things I consistently ignore because they’re not technically causing any problems.  I also want to ensure people recognize we’re all human and your home doesn’t have to be perfect. 

The lighting is terrible in this picture… Another thing on my list of things I need to do but keep ignoring because it’s manageable. Two of the lights are out in my ceiling fan. This is one area that I give up on often. My son is always ninja kicking, jumping, and throwing hands all around this area above my bed. No matter how often I straighten these paintings, they end up like this by the end of the day.

Did I mention my son tripping over our vacuum? It 100% happened this morning (the day before this blog is posted)… This is also laundry from this weekend. I put up a larger pile before this one yesterday. IT NEVER ENDS.

The current status of my kitchen (the day before this blog is posted). This is actually a pretty decent state! I found the will power to wash my dishes tonight. However, I can bet the dishes hang out on the rack for quite a bit of time. Can we talk about how awesome this drying rack is? I highly recommend it for anyone with limited counter space and who doesn’t want to use a counter drying rack.

AABC – July and August 2022

The Adventure Awaits Book Club read Loki: A Bad God’s Guide to Being Good by Louie Stowell during July of 2022.  The book club read Bear Necessity by James Gould-Bourn during August of 2022.  We weren’t able to meet over zoom in July so joined the book discussions and met in August.  

One of the questions asked during the discussion was which book we preferred.  I wasn’t able to answer with an exact choice and neither were the other members.  In sum, one made us laugh and one made us feel good.  

I’ll break them down a bit for y’all! 

Loki: A Bad God’s Guide to Being Good by Louie Stowell:

If you’re not familiar with Marvel… do you live under a rock?  Kidding.  Seriously, though.  I’m not sure how anyone can avoid not having at least a tad bit of knowledge with the marketing team Marvel (Disney) clearly has in place.  I’m not a super fan or anything, so don’t hate me for my trivial summation.  Loki is Thor’s brother (I’m not sure exactly on the family tree) and is the “villain” in some of the Marvel movies.  Having a kid slowed down the speed in which I have been able to keep up with the movies, but I think a good side pops out a bit in one or more of the movies/shows.  

This “good side” is essentially what is being sought out in Stowell’s book.  Loki royally pisses off some of the other gods in Asgard and as punishment is forced to be an 11 year old boy and learn how to be good.  He is required to write in the quirky and all truthful journal every day to track his progress.  If he lies, the journal immediately corrects him.  A running points score is shown every day and snarky marks accompany the score to remind Loki of his goal, returning to Asgard and be reinstated as a god.  

Loki has to adjust to the life of an average human.  My favorite part of the book was reading Loki’s definition of human things.  Here is a list of what definitions to expect: 

  1. Job
  2. Private School
  3. Car
  4. Internet
  5. Smartphone
  6. Shopping
  7. Video Games
  8. Takeaway (fast food)

They’re clever definitions that clearly poke fun at what it’s like being a human.  Along with the definitions, there are, what I would call, doodles all over the book.  They are meant to be Loki’s perception of what is happening around him.  

I laughed so much more than I expected I would.  When the book was recommended I felt worried it might be too juvenile.  I adored the book.  It took about an hour and a half for me to finish.  My son was already asleep and I didn’t take any breaks… Basically, it’s a quick read if you’re low on time but still want to soak in something enjoyable.  

Despite Loki’s questionable choices, this book would still be a great read for the whole family.  It would likely open up some chances for fun conversations to occur, whether they be fantastical or realistic.  

Bear Necessity by James Gould-Bourn:

I didn’t have any expectations about this book like I did about the previous one.  All I had was the brief Amazon summary.  It seemed like it would be sad but also heartwarming.  Honestly, that’s a perfect sentence to describe exactly how I felt after reading it.  There were moments I one hundred percent shed a tear or two (way more) and others where I found myself cracking up.

Bear Necessity is a perfect story wrapped up in a bow ready to be enjoyed by all who read it.  I didn’t close the book feeling there were any loose ends.  I didn’t feel like I wanted more or less.  This book could easily transfer to a movie and continue bringing joy to others.  

If you want to be surprised about what characters you will meet, don’t read this paragraph…Gould-Bourn created an almost absurd group of characters that somehow all seem to fit.  A middle school boy, a dancing human panda, a pole dancer, and a strong Ukrainian man give the book its heart.  The author’s minor characters were also brilliantly created.  A questionable landlord, a middle school sidekick/spokesperson, a middle school bully, and a teacher all have their moments to shine and build strong character development. 

Okay, you can read again!  I won’t give away any more spoilers.  This book led to many writing prompts for a Mental Health Monday blog.  It touches on loss and how everyone deals with loss differently.  It touches on romantic relationships and how we often don’t realize the importance of small moments until we lose someone we love.  It touches on the bond between a parent and a child and the importance of this relationship.  It shows how everyone has a story and it doesn’t matter what they do, something along the way influences them to look or be the way they are.  

Chapter 20 is my favorite chapter.  Being a parent, it hit me right in the feels.  Parents have such an important job.  I loved everything about the description of the love the mom had for her son.  If you are a crier, the beginning of this chapter will likely get you.  

The book is well written and clearly a story the author took time to carefully create.  Go fall in love with these quirky characters and share your thoughts with me! 

———

…I lied earlier.  Bear Necessity is definitely my favorite of the two, and honestly, likely my favorite we’ve read this year!  It’s not that Loki: A Bad God’s Guide to Being Good wasn’t also great, but I’m a sucker for books that bring out tears.  

The joy having this platform and ability to read and write about books gives me is astronomical.  I love getting to share what I love with others.  I love love and I love reading and writing.  Thank you for following along with me!  Please follow me on Instagram, email me, or leave a comment on a blog post and share what brings your life joy and love!  

https://www.instagram.com/authorarielpierce/

authorarielpierce@gmail.com

In September of 2022 the Adventure Awaits Book Club will be reading, When Women Were Dragons by Kelly Barnhill. 

Peer Pressure

It’s my 20th blog post and what better way to celebrate than writing about peer pressure for Mental Health Monday! 

Peer pressure is being influenced by one’s peer group.  Peer pressure is addressed most as a teenager and comes up in shows geared towards teens, addressed by parents and teachers, and is gone by the time you turn 21.  Once you’re legal to drink, it seems no one cares about it anymore.  

The most common peer pressure message I received growing up was about alcohol and drugs.  They had presentations from Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD), local police departments, and would fit it in casually any chance possible.  The second place message was about sex.  They showed us photos of sexually transmitted diseases and STD became an instant joke in the schools.  The implication that death was imminent if we had sex before we were “ready” seemed extreme.  

Alcohol and drugs can be dangerous.  Sex before you’re ready can lead to consequences you did not want.  Being pressured to do these things when you don’t want to is horrific.  These concepts need to be addressed.  I’m not certain the aggressive nature that they were growing up is the best way to go about it but it is still important. 

I recall being in eighth grade in the middle of three peers (by a teacher set seating chart) who were discussing sex.  I took home a fake baby in seventh grade and watched a video about giving birth.  We were all aware of the concept of sex but I was no where near having that experience so it felt wild to me that they were having this conversation.  

I recall being in high school and hearing about my friends and classmates who went to parties and got drunk.  Alcohol was the furthest thing from my mind.  I knew it existed as my father loved it but it never appealed to me.  

There are plenty of times when these topics have entered my life but no one prepared me for the continued pressure into adulthood.  

No one prepared me for the constant pressure I would feel about choosing a more practical career from those who heard I wanted to pursue a writing career. 

No one prepared me for the pressuring comment “just get a babysitter.” 

No one prepared me for the time a peer would try to pressure me to leave my black husband for someone who looked like me.  

No one prepared me for the pressure of moving back home.  

No one prepared me for all the pressuring “I want to get you drunk” comments because a 30 year old who doesn’t drink is fascinating. 

No one prepared me for all the times I would feel pressured to go to lunch with coworkers. 

No one prepared me for the pressure of having people race up behind me while driving, honk their horns, flash their lights, and wave aggressively while I legally pass someone in the left lane.  

No one prepared me for the pressure I would feel to attend church and the pressure I would feel not to attend church. 

I’m learning how to set boundaries.  I know some of these likely seem trivial.  Your responses are probably, “just say no,” “why are you in the left lane going the speed limit anyways,” or “you’re being too sensitive.” 

It’s not about the seriousness of these pressures.  It’s more about the fact that we’re ill prepared to manage adult life.  We don’t think that the pressures will continue once we’ve made it past our teenage years and alcohol isn’t the main focus of everyone’s life anymore.  We don’t think about all the tiny microaggressions that pick away at our resolve to do what is best for our lives. 

I know my friends who comment about me moving back home mean well.  I would love to be able to see them all the time.  I know my coworkers are simply wanting an hour to escape from our stressful job.  I know how rare it is to find an adult that doesn’t drink alcohol.  It probably would be entertaining for my friends.  

Not every comment is intended to cause harm.  Many people have no clue that the comments they made may have impacted someone.  

My purpose for writing about peer pressure isn’t to make anyone feel any type of way for doing the things that make me feel pressured.  It’s simply a reminder to everyone who feels pressure in their life that it will likely be a lifelong experience.  We’re going to be annoyed by someone we deem a jerk while driving.  We’re going to deal with racist, ignorant people more than we should.  We’re going to deal with societal and peer pressures about religion.  We’re going to continue to love our friends who make the comments that make our soul feel a bit guilty.  

It’s okay to set boundaries.  It’s okay to say no to things that most others don’t.  It’s okay to follow your heart.  It’s okay to do what is best for your body.  It’s okay to choose the job that you want to pursue.  It’s okay to follow a religion (so long as you’re not using that religion to cause harm to others).  

Whatever you do, if it doesn’t cause harm to another person, it’s okay.  You are not responsible for helping others understand your choices.  Your choices do not have to make others comfortable.  

Say no.  I’ve seen many coworkers burn themselves out because they struggle to use that word.  They feel pressured to help and do more because saying no feels like the world may end for the person that needs help.  

I know there are likely thousands of other examples of peer pressure experienced by an adult that had nothing to do with alcohol, drugs, or sex.  My examples are simply ones that came to my mind when I sat down to write this blog.  

I’m currently feeling pressured to stop writing and go to sleep so my personal trainer will be impressed that I’ve been sleeping more.  

Whenever your head hits the pillow, you are alone with your thoughts.  It’s a moment you reflect on your day.  You are the only one who has to live with the choices you make.  Peer pressure will always exist.  Societal pressures will always exist.  Family pressures will always exist.  Your continued existence is most important.  You matter.  Your life matters.  Do what makes you feel satisfied with your choices when you close your eyes to sleep. 

We are struggling with so much every day.  I am here to be an advocate for mental health and helping others.  If you’re struggling with an internal battle, just know, I am here with you!  My website/blog and social media page are safe places!  Share your dreams and your struggles.  Life isn’t easy but you’re doing great!

Sibling Relationships Are Weird

This Mental Health Monday I plan to dive into my family tree a bit.  I’ve posted a few blogs about friendships and have shared bits and pieces of my life in other ones.  I typically write when I feel inspired and this is where my brain is currently landing, topic wise.  All of this blog is based on my experiences and personal opinions.  They may change over time, but this is how I feel right now.  

My perspective on sibling relationships is based on a complex upbringing. My perspective is likely completely different than an only child who always wanted a sibling or someone who grew up with a large number of siblings in their home every day.

I have eight siblings and I talk to zero of them on a regular basis.  

This brings me to question whether having multiple children makes any sense. 

I only have one sibling that was born out of the relationship between my biological mother and father.  The other seven were from three other relationships my mother and father had.  Let me give you a run down of what this looks like: 

  1. Oldest – mom’s kid
  2. Next – mom’s kid
  3. Next – dad’s kid
  4. Next – mom’s and dad’s kid
  5. Me
  6. Next – dad’s kid
  7. Next – dad’s kid
  8. Next – dad’s kid
  9. Youngest – dad’s kid

This makes me my mom’s youngest child and dad’s third. 

I only grew up with sibling 4.  He was my absolute best friend.  I loved having him as my built in buddy.  I may have chased him with a rake and sat on him a few times in fights but I loved him with my whole heart.  

I always get offended looks from people when I say that he’s my favorite.  I don’t say this to be mean or say that my other siblings are somehow less than, but the reality is, he’s the only sibling I know.  He’s the only sibling that would test my macaroni noodles because he knew I didn’t like the taste without the cheese powder.  He’s the only sibling that would sneak in my room and watch random late night shows while our mom thought we were sleeping.  He’s the only sibling that I saw have a first love.  He’s the only sibling that went to my events (my youngest four did make it to my high school graduation).  I tagged along to his boy scout activities.  I hung with him on top of the deep freezer in our grandfather’s grocery store.  He’s the only sibling I have thousands of treasured memories with.  

He’s the only sibling that went through much of what I went through as a child.  We both mostly grew up with our mother and would visit our father during the summer and every other Christmas.  

I only have a handful of memories of siblings 1 and 2, but they are mostly from when I was much older.  I have a few memories of sibling number 3, but they are tainted a bit by jealousy (I’ll explain that more later).  Siblings 6 through 9 spent quite a few summers with sibling 4 and I, but we were much older and the relationships aren’t very strong.  

Having four children doesn’t sound like too many to some but to me it’s astronomical.  Having seven children is absolutely bonkers. 

Having as many siblings as I do is weird.  I love them all as humans but it gives me a huge sense of failure as a sister knowing that we don’t all have relationships.  

  1. Sibling 1 sent a “f*** you” message to me recently. 
  2. I removed sibling 2 from social media because their religious and political posts were too much to keep seeing. 
  3. Sibling 3 is very similar to me but it’s hard to find time to stay connected with our schedules. 
  4. Sibling 4 typically stays to themselves and is focused on building and loving their family so contact is minimal.
    6-9. Sibling 6 is the one I feel most connected to but contact is minimal.  The other three  seem so far removed because of their ages and limited contact we had growing up.  It also doesn’t help that their mother and I have never gotten along. 

When you enter a committed romantic relationship, the topic of having children is likely to come up.  It’s common for partners to want to share a biological child.  When divorce occurs, it’s likely that if a parent enters a new relationship, their new partner may also want to have a child with them.  As much as I feel it is normal to want to share a child with your partner, I question if this is the right choice for the child(ren) who already exists.  

I am fairly certain sibling 1 is not my biggest fan because of the close relationship I have with our mother.  They were only able to spend a few years with our mom due to divorce.  I grew up with our mom and she’s my favorite human in the world.  It’s possible this may be true for sibling 2 as well but it has never come up.  

Sibling 3 and I were able to connect last summer and I am so grateful for the trip for that reason.  We discussed so much about our childhoods and our relationships with our father.  I learned so many things about her I had no idea she experienced.  I told her I was always jealous of her because I felt my dad loved her more than me.  I learned she felt similarly.  She’s an amazing mother and person and I hate that I don’t get to be around her as much as I would like.  

Sibling 6 was the one younger sibling I spent the most time with.  They connect so well with sibling 4 and I.  Sibling 4 and I loved introducing them to things we liked and they were always the most like us out of the four younger siblings.  Sibling 7 always seemed to be at a random sports event and that is most of the memories I have with them.  Siblings 8 and 9 are basically babies to me.  One is in college and the other has been taller than me for a while but I don’t have many significant memories of them because I was an adult for most of their childhood.  

Unfortunately, I also had a hint of jealousy towards siblings 6 through 9.  I hated that their mom would tell people I was their step sibling instead of half sibling.  I hated that our dad went to so many of their events but only ever made it to my high school graduation.  I was jealous that they always seemed to have so much more than sibling 4 and I, and our dad didn’t seem to contribute much to us.  I hated hearing our dad brag about all their accomplishments but seemed disappointed that sibling 4 and I chose different paths than he would have chosen for us.  I hate that our dad still does this.  

I know growing up was not rainbows and sunshine for siblings 6 through 9 but so much has tainted my memories, it makes it hard to feel connected to them.  The age gaps don’t help either.  

Basically, having any more than one child creates some sort of issue for the siblings.  As a parent, you are never going to be able to give a child everything that they need.  It becomes even harder when the number of children keeps growing.  I don’t know many people who have both parents still together and a large sibling group.  I know there are some out there, but I personally do not know them.  Divorce creates a possible trauma for a child.  When you add siblings in that they may not get to see, or feel as if one parent loves more, it gets worse.  

Many people may not notice it or speak on it but it’s true.  We all have a different perspective of what growing up was like.  We all are going to have a story of feeling like our parents liked our sibling more than us.  For example, I personally know I’m my mom’s favorite (she’ll deny it).  As a 30 year old, I am still joking about being my mom’s favorite and jealous when her attention is taken by someone else, even if it is one of my siblings.  

I don’t believe there would be any way to ever have the relationship I want with all my siblings.  I believe all nine of us live in different states right now.  We are almost all adults and building lives of our own.  Five of us have children.  I know it’s normal for siblings to grow up and have different lives but it makes me sad to see that so many siblings do not have a positive relationship.  

Sibling relationships are something we attempt to preserve at my job but with so many different factors in play, siblings are split or don’t get the contact they deserve.  

I’m not asking people to only have one child.  I’m not asking for divorced people with children to not have children with a new partner.  I’m not saying that having siblings is bad.  I’m simply saying, we need to be more thoughtful about sibling relationships when we do decide to have more than one child.  

I am struggling trying to figure out how to ensure my son has a positive relationship with his new half sibling when his father has limited contact.  I don’t want my son to feel the feelings I felt growing up.  I don’t want him to question if his father loves his sibling more than him, even though I know it will likely happen.  

Technology options were limited when I grew up but with all the technology we have now, we need to be better about ensuring our children have contact with their siblings if they live in separate homes.  I would recommend ensuring you’re working to be the best parent possible first but sibling relationships should be a priority.  

We need to be better at building strong sibling bonds when they live in the same home.  Humans are different, even when they have a similar upbringing.  Do not tell your child they should be more like their sibling because you feel the sibling is making better choices.  Parents need to respect their children as individuals and work to ensure they all feel loved.  

I am working to process my childhood in therapy.  I am working to process any negative feelings I had/have towards my siblings, realizing that most of the feelings were/are directed at my father.  I am working to process the fact that my siblings likely have their own feelings and perspective about me as a sibling and I may never be able to have a positive relationship with some of them.

I don’t know how to be a part of a large family.  I struggle to make time to speak to anyone outside of my son.  Maintaining eight healthy sibling relationships, two healthy relationships with my parents, four healthy relationships with my grandparents, and healthy relationships with the many cousins, aunts, and uncles out there has always felt impossible.  

Having another child sounds absolutely horrifying to me at this moment.  I constantly feel like I’m failing my son already.  I’m not in a relationship to even consider having another child but I can’t imagine having to divide my already limited time and attention.  Parents with multiple children fascinate me.  I’ve seen parents manage multiple children beautifully in a moment but I know that moment likely meant something different to all the children. 

Parents, I know you’re doing your best!  Remember what it felt like to be someone’s child.  Remember what you wanted out of your parents and try to give that and more to your child(ren).  It isn’t going to be easy and building a strong support system around you and your child(ren) is going to be needed.  Any help you can find to help build up these tiny humans into healthy adults who understand what it feels like to be loved is amazing!  

To my siblings: I love you! I hope you all build lives that bring you joy and you feel loved.

We are struggling with so much every day.  I am here to be an advocate for mental health and helping others.  If you’re struggling with an internal battle, just know, I am here with you!  My website/blog and social media page are safe places!  Share your dreams and your struggles.  Life isn’t easy but you’re doing great!