Ariel Pierce

AABC – June 2022

It has been a while since I updated my Adventure Awaits Book Club blog content. I posted an introduction blog back in May. My intention was to update the book my book club is reading each month and provide an update after my club meets to discuss. I missed writing about May’s choice but here is the update for June.

During June of 2022, my book club read Verity by Colleen Hoover. One of my friends from high school is a huge Colleen Hoover fan and recommended one of her books a few years ago. When someone suggested Verity for June book, it seemed like a wise choice based on how much I enjoyed her writing.

My initial thoughts were: “Yooooo… this book is crazy.”

A thin blue sticky note has those exact words stuck on page 132.

Have you ever loved a book and hated it at the same time? This one is not hated because of bad writing or a terrible plot. It’s hated because of its cleverness and its ability to manipulate one’s emotions.

I’m a bit conceited about my ability to predict what happens in shows, movies, and books. I’ve annoyed numerous movie watching companion’s with my whispered predictions and mischievous giggles when I’m found to be right.

Anytime I find a book that creates multiple theories in my head and destroys every one of them is a win. I do love a classic, likely considered cheesy, and predictable love story more than most. There’s comfort in predictability, but we all need books to keep us on our toes.

Verity is a quick read that I read in one night. I don’t want to go too far into the plot because it will give too much away. However, I will list a few aspects I appreciate:

A bit of relatable parent content
A character who is an author
Suspenseful plot build up
Disturbing and questionable character ethics
Unpredictable ending

This book sent some creepy tingles through my body. It’s absolutely crazy and manipulative but well done. Any book that has you thinking about it for days after reading is worth every penny. It gave me Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia vibes. A house with creepy inhabitants is as deep as I’ll go with my hints.

I’m still figuring out what I plan to include in each of these book club update blogs. I don’t want to take away any surprises for anyone who may read one of the choices in the future. Feel free to comment and share what you would like to see included in these blogs!

Our July choice is a bit different than previous months, it’s more of a fun, chill read than the serious tones of most choices. We will be reading Loki: A Bad God’s Guide to Being Good by Louie Stowell. Let us know what you think!

The Cranky Lizard

For this Mental Health Monday post, I chose to share the random story I created while playing with my son. My son’s energy is unmatched. This child is like the energizer bunny and just keeps going until sleep is forced upon him.

My energy level is tragic. After working a full-time job, managing our home, and dealing with the existential dread of every day, I have very little energy to put towards being the best mom I can for my son.

My son was in the middle of his nightly allotted time to be on the iPad. I was using that time to scroll TikTok and avoid doing anything productive. He then came to sit with me and pulled out these tiny ball poppers we found at Walmart. There are about six little animals that have a giant hole in their mouth to shoot the yellow balls out they came with. They’re super dope, I’m not going to lie.

He seemed really focused on getting me to play with him and while I absolutely had no energy to do so, I put down my phone and tried my best to engage. We spent time shooting the balls across the room, and then he started asking for us to “make them talk.”

Anytime we play with toys I typically give them silly voices and create random scenarios for him. I felt like sharing this one because the story line is cute, and my son started adding random parts to it as well. It brought me so much joy to see his imagination engage and I had no idea how impactful these little stories were becoming for him. I added a few extra things to make the story flow for the internet but for the most part this is it:

Once upon a time…

There existed a magical Christmas tree. It stood in the middle of a dense forest in the North Pole. What made this tree so magical is its ability to grow cookies. The most common cookies would be there, like chocolate chip, sugar, peanut butter, and oatmeal raisin.

However, if you asked the tree for a different cookie, it would appear within seconds. The tree never ran out of cookies.

The Christmas Cookie Tree or CCT was Duck and Cow’s favorite place. They would venture into the forest everyday to grab a cookie on their lunch break.

One day, Duck and Cow followed the well-worn path only to find all the trees now looked identical. The typical shimmer from the CCT was nowhere to be found. They circled the area for a few minutes to be sure they weren’t lost.

No one knew the area better than Duck and Cow. They immediately left to go find Santa.

They ran to Santa’s workshop and burst in the front door, startling elves, reindeer, and Santa.

“Santa! Santa!” they shouted in unison.

Duck and Cow immediately let Santa, and everyone else in the room with how loud they exclaimed their news, know about the bare CCT.

One of the elves reported they saw the Cranky lizard in the forest the day before. The cranky lizard is a known wizard who became a lizard when a spell went wrong. Duck and Cow immediately sought out the Cranky lizard’s home.

When they reached the cranky lizard’s home, they asked about the CCT. The cranky lizard started cackling and admitted to taking away the tree’s magic. When Duck and Cow asked why, the cranky lizard did not know. Duck and Cow noticed how sad the cranky lizard seemed. They begged for the cranky lizard to give the tree back its magic.

The cranky lizard said the tree would only be restored if they all went to see a movie together. Duck and Cow agreed. At the movies, they all got popcorn, candy, pretzels, and drinks. They saw Jurassic World and had so much fun.

After the movie, the cranky lizard thanked Duck and Cow and said the CCT’s magic would be restored. He then turned and walked away. Duck and Cow noticed again how sad the cranky lizard seemed. Duck and Cow asked the cranky lizard to hang out again and they all became best friends.

The Christmas Cookie Tree’s magic was restored, and the cranky lizard started joining Duck and Cow on their daily visits for cookies. Duck and Cow also convinced Santa to help the cranky lizard with a spell that would turn him back into a regular wizard.

The end…

Let me share the parts of the story added in by my son:

He stated the tree should grow cookies.
He asked for the characters to be duck and cow (those were the two animal poppers I was holding and we’re not super creative with names yet, haha)!
He changed it from a cranky wizard to cranky lizard (he heard lizard instead of wizard and chuckled so hard, I changed it to lizard, and it turned out fun)!
He chose the movie they saw and chose Jurassic World.
He stated the cranky lizard left the movie sad and assumed they didn’t want to be his friend (might need to get my kid into therapy lol).

This world does a great job of sucking the energy out of us. Our kids are wise and likely notice more than we’d like them to, but they also notice the small things that we do for them, and it means so much more than we could ever imagine. I took the love I have of creating stories and now realize it’s passing on to my son. What more could a mother ask for?

—————

We are struggling with so much every day. I am here to be an advocate for mental health and helping others. If you’re struggling with an internal battle, just know, I am here with you! My website/blog and social media page are safe places! Share your dreams and your struggles. Life isn’t easy but you’re doing great!

10 Songs for Mental Health Support

We’re only a few posts in, but I felt like doing something a little different for Mental Health Monday!

I’ve accumulated a list of songs over the years that make me feel some type of way. They mostly have an encouraging message or have relatable lyrics. Most of the songs are ones I heard on my favorite radio station, K-LOVE, or are by an artist who has played on K-LOVE. There’s an outlier but it’s relatable and feels important.

K-LOVE is a Christian music radio station. I love it because it has limited commercials and I can count on there being an abundance of music when I’m on longer road trips. The radio station hosts have also been entertaining over the years I’ve been listening. I think I’ve stuck to this station because of their motto. The phrase “Positive, encouraging, K-LOVE” is echoed throughout their station during the day. I need the positivity and the encouraging music to get me through my days. It’s also a safe station if you have young kiddos in the car and you don’t want to have to worry about what they hear.

While nine of the songs are by primarily Christian artists, I am not sharing this to try and sway anyone towards any sort of belief. When we’re discussing mental health, we need to acknowledge what helps us. These are the songs that help me get through each day. I can only imagine how many other songs are out there without a religious context that help others.

Music holds so much power and it’s an important aspect of one’s mental health journey.

So, here are 10 songs that have impacted my mental health in some way.

1. I Will Fear No More by The Afters

The lyrics to this song note struggles someone may experience. It then moves into trusting God and as the title suggests, fearing no more. Trusting God is difficult when you’re in the middle of a battle with any number of factors trying to tear you down. My favorite lyric is “You are greater than the battle raging in my mind.” God knows we have internal battles but He’s hoping we realize we’re not facing them alone. I try to remember my mind is not always kind, but God loves me anyways.

2. Rescue by Lauren Daigle

As a human, you are likely to have days where you feel lost. You feel absolutely broken and are holding on by a thin string to this life. I heard most of these songs for the first time on the radio, but this one caught me in one of those hard times. I immediately burst into tears in the middle of the song. Shortly after, I decided to start visiting a church I liked, and their worship team sang this song the first day back after many months not going. I sat by myself towards the back, so no one saw the tears sliding down my face. This song is a reminder that no matter how broken you feel, God is there with you, He will find you in your darkest times, and He will “rescue” you.

3. The Motions by Matthew West

This one time at band camp… No, for real. My most vivid memory of this song is from my time in marching band. I knew of the song before then, but my band director used this song as a motivational tool, and I’ve always appreciated the lesson. For marching band purposes, the lesson was to practice with intention to improve our likelihood of a successful performance. The song’s purpose seems to be for us not to simply go about our day just “going through the motions.” We need to live with intention and build a purposeful relationship with God. This song has influenced me on days where I am sick of the day-to-day monotony and try to be more mindful of my choices.

4. Fear is a Liar by Zach Williams

I need to quote a bit of the lyrics for this one. “When he told you you’re not good enough… not right… not strong enough… not worthy… not loved…not beautiful… that you’ll never be enough. Fear, he is a liar.” How many times have you felt like you’re not good enough or any of the others mentioned? Probably more than you recall or would like to admit. I don’t have to explain this one too much. We need to remember that “fear is a liar” and God created all of us for a reason and we are so much more than our own minds and society will often lead us to believe.

5. The Breakup Song by Francesca Battistelli

My memory is not the best, but I recall hearing this one before Zach Williams’ song (number 4 on this list). It’s another song that speaks to the burden of fear. This song is an anthem telling fear that it will not hold power anymore. My favorite lyric is “fear, you don’t own me.” There have been so many moments in my life that I gave into fear and didn’t do something that I wanted to do. There have been many times I have dimmed my light out of fear of how I would be perceived. I constantly struggle with this battle, but I am reminded of this song anytime the thoughts start overwhelming me.

6. Almost Home by Mercy Me

No one really knows what will come of us after we leave this earth. We are often so burdened by the stress of this life that we forget God promises an eternal life with Him. There are days where I scoff at the thought of this being true and days where I’m begging with every aspect of my being that it is. Either way, this song speaks to us not being on this earth permanently and our struggles are only temporary. Whether it takes a few days or a struggle that will last until we leave this earth, our struggles are temporary, and this song helps me remember this and try not to dwell on the stress.

7. Truth Be Told by Matthew West

I believe this song has had the most profound impact on my mental health. The opening lyric needs to be shared: “Lie number one: You’re supposed to have it all together.” YOU DO NOT HAVE TO HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER. This song shares that exact sentiment. This song’s purpose, at least what I’m interpreting from it, is to encourage people not to feel scared to share their struggles. We should not be expected to be perfect, and we shouldn’t have to fake as if we are. I also love that this song comments on the church. The church should be welcoming to everyone, and no one should feel judged when they walk in a church’s doors.

8. Brighter Days by Blessing Offor

This is my current jam. It somehow always comes on in the morning after I’ve dropped my son off at daycare and I am feeling crazy from all his morning shenanigans. If it doesn’t come on the radio when I’m in the car, then at some point in the day I’m likely to play the song myself. I am clinging to the hope that there are going to be brighter days. I am in a moment of dreading the fact that my life seems at a standstill. I question why loneliness is a constant state of being and if anything will ever change. I am constantly quoting, “I know there’s gonna be some brighter days.” I am working to trust God and His plan, pray for brighter days, and still thrive in the darker days. The interesting aspect of this song is it could be played on any station. It’s an encouraging message even if you do not have a belief in God. We all need to know that we’ll likely see brighter days.

9. Wounds by Jordan Feliz

I bought Jordan’s album Say It because of the song “Next to Me.” However, “Wounds” was the song that had me feeling all the feels. I’m not certain if it was a personal testament to his experience but the song feels personal. I loved the song because of the personal feel. It seemed to say to me, “I know how it feels to be in a dark place but there is hope and God heals all wounds.” When someone understands our experience, it can help us get through our battles. I appreciate the lyric, “I’ve seen the light come in… to my darkest rooms.” No matter how dark it feels in our life, we are worthy of light and God will meet us where we are.

10. Numb Little Bug by Em Beihold

I saved this one for last because it’s different. I didn’t hear this song on K-LOVE, and I doubt it would be approved for their station. There is no religious basis behind it that I’m aware of. This song captured some of my darker thoughts and explained a bit about how I feel on a day-to-day basis. “Do you ever get a little bit tired of life… like you’re not really happy but you don’t want to die…” This lyric is honestly how I feel more days than I’d like to admit. This song doesn’t try to fix anything but sits in its emotions. This is why I love it. Some days I need to just sit in my feelings and not try to fix myself. Then, I’ll turn to some of my other songs on this list and try to push through and search for the joy again.

BONUS SONG

I have a bonus song for you. My mom would sing a short song to us growing up. She would use this anytime we were struggling with something that took a long time, basically anytime we were being impatient. It became a joke and eventually we started singing it at her when we were older and caught on to its multiple uses. I have since taught it to my son and a few of my kiddos I work with. My son typically rolls his eyes and begs me not to sing it when I am requesting his patience. I am also singing this to myself often to try and reel in my own impatience with life and people who may be frustrating. I have no clue where the song came from or if it’s a small part of a larger song. If you’ve heard it, please share its history!

“Have patience.

Have patience.

Don’t be in such a hurry.

When you get impatient, you only start to worry.

Remember! Remember! …that God is patient too!”

—————

Michael B. Jordan

Happy Mental Health Monday!

Michael B. Jordan has no idea I exist. I don’t typically write about people I don’t personally know. This post honestly has nothing to do with him aside from briefly mentioning he’s beautiful and how he’s a small factor in my personal mental health.

I think many people who are not famous, have a famous person they have a superficial crush on. All we know about this person, is their name, a little bit of information that may or may not be true in magazines, and their physical appearance is likely attractive to us. Michael B. Jordan is my celebrity crush. I walk him into more conversations than one would expect. I have the Killmonger Funko Pop! figure from his role on Black Panther. I have three magazines of him hanging in my room.

You’re probably asking yourself, how does Michael B. Jordan tie into my mental health. I’ll get there. Let me tell you a bit about how he ties into my physical health first.

“I simply want Michael B. Jordan to do a double take if he ever walks past me.”

When I speak with others about my physical health journey, this is the comment I make most often. I don’t have many concrete fitness achievement goals aside from this one.

Y’all ever had one of those days where you are absolutely feeling yourself? You feel you look like a million bucks or whatever cheesy expression you want to throw out. Your outfit is on point. You feel thinner than your brain convinces you look most days. On those days, have you ever had someone who walks past you, sees you, keeps walking, and then suddenly you see them turn back again to look at you because the realization of your beauty took a bit to process? It’s happened a few times in my life. The person has never been Michael B. Jordan but that’s the dream.

Basically, I want to get to the fitness point in my life that Michael B. Jordan’s brain eventually processes I look awesome.

The mental health tie comes into play here.

I have no idea what Michael B. Jordan’s brain processes and who he finds attractive. My brain has convinced myself that I am somehow not worthy of Michael B. Jordan glancing in my direction. My brain compares myself to any person he’s romantically tied to and assumes I am somehow inferior because my brain says so.

I don’t consider personality, I don’t consider personal taste, I don’t consider anything aside from what I’ve deemed my level of attractive is to someone I’ve never met. I’m also assuming that all Michael B. Jordan cares about is what someone looks like.

I joke about how my The Little Mermaid toy being next to the Michael B. Jordan based Killmonger Funko Pop! is the closest I’ll ever get to the actor (My name is Ariel… get it?). This isn’t a self-deprecating statement. It’s more of a statistical statement than anything. Most people never meet their celebrity crush. Our brains have a tendency to give power to things that it shouldn’t. We need to give more power to how we feel on a day-to-day basis, how our children smile at us like we’re the coolest humans ever despite our struggles, or all the amazing daily achievements, like simply existing!

Inherently, we all need random motivational techniques to help us on our fitness/health journeys. Walking past Michael B. Jordan every day in magazine form does motivate me a bit to make healthier choices. Some people need the My 600 lb Life doctor meme to help. Others need a picture of themselves at a healthier point in their life. Whatever it is that you need to motivate yourself to make healthier choices, be mindful of what other messages your brain is sending out!

Friendships and Responsibilities

Happy Monday + 1!

Since yesterday was technically a holiday, let’s pretend that today is Mental Health Monday!

If you’ve been keeping up with my blog, checked out my social media page, or perused through my website, you have been introduced to my best friend, Samantha.

The last time we were able to see each other in person was March of 2021. My son and I were finally able to take some time to travel and spend the weekend with her and her family.

We bought matching pajamas and captured this lovely picture during the trip!

A huge part of my conversations with my therapist revolves around the fact that I have limited contact with friends outside of work. I have one coworker, who I adore, that I see consistently and vent all my work frustrations to, and a few others I see here and there. However, I rarely spend time with any of my coworkers outside of work unless we’re having a unit gathering.

I have a few friends I’ll check in with occasionally, about their lives, but we rarely get together. I’m a friendly person but for some reason, I don’t have any significant friendships in this area. Most of my best friends live in other cities in Texas or out of state. These are the friends that I could call up and talk to for hours. These are the friends you could call up randomly and they’ll go to the grocery store with you. These are the friends who you can complain about your life and make borderline suicidal ideations and they support you and don’t make you feel any crazier than you already feel.

Spending time with friends is good for your mental health.

So, imagine how not good going over a year without seeing my best friend was on my mental health.

Being a single parent with no friends or family in the area sucks! I rarely have time to communicate with adults outside of work. Sometimes, you just can’t keep talking about work and need some time chatting about other things with your best friend(s).

As a single parent, you’re responsible for everything.

Getting kiddo(s) to daycare/school
Keeping up with chores at home
Managing the bills
Ensuring your kiddo(s) has enough quality time with you
Maintenance on vehicle/home
Attending all appointments for kiddo(s)
Grocery shopping/providing appropriate meals
Working so you can support yourself and kiddo(s)
ETC…

Being a human in general is overwhelming but when there’s no sense of relief it can drown you. We need breaks, genuine friendships, time to spend with these friends, and time to feel like ourselves outside of the many roles we hold.

Let’s talk about what this time looks like.

I spent three days with my son, best friend, and her family. I left feeling almost more exhausted than when I arrived. Have y’all ever gone on a trip and feel like you need a vacation from your vacation? That’s a little bit how I felt after this weekend. I went hoping to spend some quality time with my best friend. We spent the whole weekend trying to keep my son from beating up her kids, taking breaks watching each other’s kids while we went to the bathroom, took a shower, or cooked, and trying to nap because we were exhausted. We had a few minutes during a quick Walmart trip to be together, without kids, and have a little fun.

The six-hour trip there and back did not help much either.

I know we’re both moms and do not have the means to be without our children often so you’d think I would know that it wouldn’t be the perfect trip. Regardless, I did not expect to feel so disconnected when we were literally staying in the same home. It’s hard to focus on your friendship when you’re focused on being a parent. It’s even harder when your child is ignoring everything you say, and you feel like an incompetent parent.

How do we maintain friendships when we’re so far away to feel connected despite the distance?

Texting
Calling
Video chatting
Social media
Letters

These are a few things Samantha and I use to stay connected. I also found a journal that we write in and mail back and forth as a fun method. Of course, we often get behind and end up taking months before we get it back to the other. We’re trying though.

How do we take the breaks that we deserve and feel refreshed when we return to our responsibilities? I haven’t figured out a solid answer for this question. Having smaller, more frequent, breaks seem to help a bit. If you’re waiting for a week (or two) long vacation once a year, you’re likely going to get burnt out. I try to add a three-day weekend to my schedule when I can, but it doesn’t happen as much as I’d like.

I love this meme based on an episode of Rugrats. This is legitimately how adult life feels. We have so many roles and if you are focused on one, you’re likely neglecting the others. This can be a huge weight on our mental health.

Feel free to comment what you do to maintain healthy friendships and feel rested during breaks/vacations!

Who Has the Answers?

“If a person comes into your classroom, turn your body so your side is facing the front of their body. This way, if they shoot you, they are less likely to hit any vital organs.”

“Get into a corner of the room not visible by the window in the door. Someone will check the door is locked. Close the blinds on the windows. Be quiet. If you’re in the hall when the announcement is made, run and/or hide. If you can’t hide or they’re in the classroom, fight.”

The suggestions flooding social media following a school shooting in which 19 children and two teachers were killed, is to train teachers or to arm more people in the school’s proximity.

The first quote is one I heard my first semester as an undergraduate education major. We were asked to volunteer to come to the front of the room to show the class how to stand and the teacher would pretend to be the intruder. The second quote is from my experience as a high school student. This is what we were told to do if we receive a warning or hear gun shots. Teachers are being trained. Students are being taught. The teachers and students know what to do during an active shooter situation. I graduated high school 12 years ago. This is information that has been in the schools for years.

In my College Algebra class, I sat in a row of five directly aligned with the window in the door. The peer in the front of the row was responsible for shutting the door. Each row had a specific job during the active shooter drills. Administrative staff would come by and shake the doors aggressively, look in to see if they could see any of us, and give us tips on how to improve for the next drill.

We were reprimanded for using any other door but the front door to enter or exit the school during the school day. We were told if we opened other doors, we could disengage the locks and possibly leave the door vulnerable for intruders. My peers goofed off during the drills, ignorant to the reality of the need for them. The Columbine high school shooting was the go-to reminder of what might happen to any of us on any day. We were encouraged to report any of our peers for suspicious behaviors.

To act as if teachers aren’t actively aware of the possibility of a school shooting is ignorant. They know. They’ve known. They do not need anymore training. They should not have to bear the burden of carrying a gun to potentially shoot one of the children that has sat in their classroom. They should not have to worry about a gun while they educate our most vulnerable. Having more and more security on the campus advertises to children that they are not safe in a place they should be. It seems impossible to have enough security to stand by each classroom in case a situation initiates inside the classroom instead of in the halls or outside of the school. A handful of security guards cannot be everywhere at once.

I am almost 30 years old. I grew up learning where to hide and how to fight if we couldn’t hide. The Columbine school shooting happened in 1999. It’s likely safe to assume that children and teachers at least since 1999 have learned the same information I did. If a shooter enters a school campus, they know where to go, they know where you’re suggested to hide, they know that you’re told to fight and likely have limited materials to do so. They know you’re vulnerable.

That’s why they are there.

Shooters go to places where people are vulnerable. They go where they know they can likely do the most damage. They go to where they know they will likely accomplish much of their goal before anyone is able to stop them.

Once this argument is gone through, people will add mental health as what needs to be addressed. Mental health is used as something to say when you’re trying to find something to blame other than the real problem. The person was mentally unstable. They’re an outlier. This won’t happen again.

But it does. It happens over and over and over and over and over and over again. Did that feel like too much? It will never be too much to continually point out that nothing is being done to address this problem.

I’m happy to talk about mental health for a second, though. Mental health absolutely needs to be addressed. Let me break it down for you.

When a child is born, their parent should have guaranteed access to all items necessary for their child’s survival. Access to formula, a crib, a car seat, and any other item a parent may need.
The child’s parent needs access to childcare that is free or affordable in the context of all their other financial responsibilities.
Parents need to have parental leave available to use at their discretion. This should not be taken from their sick leave or annual leave.
Parents need to have access to free mental health services to address this major change in their life if needed.
Parents need to have access to affordable housing and jobs that pay at a comparable rate to the cost of living in the area in which they live.
Parents need to have access to free continuing education to consider options for being in a situation to improve their income earning potential.
Parents and the child need to have access to free mental health services at any time during their lives.
Bullying in schools needs to be addressed immediately.
Trans individuals need access to gender affirming care.
Parents need the right to choose abortion.
Racism needs to be eliminated.
Microaggressions need to be called out and stopped.
Systemic problems need to be corrected.

Mental health is not something that is fixed by one visit to a therapist’s office to complain about your mother, like presented in the entertainment industry. There are numerous factors that contribute to a person struggling with their mental health. There are numerous factors that contribute to a person getting to the point of pointing a gun at innocent humans and ending their lives.

The main factor is the access to guns.

I grew up around guns. There was a gun on a shelf in my grandfather’s shower. There were multiple guns we would have to move around to find anything in my grandfather’s closet. My mom hid one under our couch which we didn’t know about until we were messing around one day. This one was in a locked box.

We shot at random targets in random backyards. Family members hunted animals. We were taught general gun safety. Most of my family held guns in the military. Guns were a present and common factor in my childhood.

You can absolutely find examples of a person who was around guns who did not use them to harm another human. However, the more access to guns, the more likely someone is to use them.

People will say that guns are not the problem, that people sinning and not having a relationship with God is the problem. Are you willing to sit around and wait for all humans on Earth to develop a relationship with God instead of addressing the problem? I’m not.

Praying is comforting. Praying is likely necessary for some. However, this is not the case for all. Praying only does so much. Absolutely pray if this is your choice. But then team with those in your community to put actions into place to keep people safe.

We need gun laws that keep unnecessary guns out of the hands of any random citizen. There is no reason that background checks should be a problem. There is no reason that a raised age limit to access guns shouldn’t be in place outside of the context of military service. Classes should be required to teach those who want to buy a gun how to use them safely. There is no reason that it should not be noted how many guns you own and what they are.

If you care more about a collection of useless materials in the façade of “I may need them to protect myself from the government,” you likely need to seek mental health support. I don’t say this in a condescending way, but the reality is, humans are much more important than a gun.

The political party I see pushing gun control the most appears to be doing the most to support mental health, they are advocating for equitable treatment and justice for those not receiving it. They are fighting to keep humans healthy, physically and mentally. I cannot see a future in which these individuals take your guns, and then somehow threaten your existence.

I do not have all the answers, I likely don’t even have 1% of the answers. However, I know sitting by and sending thoughts and prayers on social media to move on a second later, is not helping. I refuse to sit by and allow these shootings to continue until my son is the one who is taken from this world, triggering a more intense reason to care.

Every human is an important person to someone. This can’t continue.

I know many of us are doing the best we can. We are struggling with so much every day. I am here to be an advocate for mental health and helping others. If you’re struggling with an internal battle, just know, I am here with you! My website/blog and social media page are safe places! Share your dreams and your struggles. Life isn’t easy but you’re doing great!

Lupus Awareness Month x3

Happy Wednesday x3

This is post three focusing on Lupus during Lupus Awareness Month! Lupus did not exist in my mind until meeting Samantha in 2013. Selena Gomez brought a bit more awareness to the world when she shared her diagnosis. (Selena, wanna play Samantha in a movie based on my book GTS one day?)

When I met Samantha, she was 23 years old. I learned quickly in our friendship her doctors often told her she may not live past 25. Did you read that? 25. I potentially had less than two years with my friend if their estimation was correct. In 2015, a few months shy of her 25^th birthday, Samantha experienced a lupus flare that caused the need for a medically induced coma. Her words, echoing doctor’s words, screamed in my mind as I waited to find out if my friend would ever wake up.

We are a few weeks shy of Samantha’s 32^nd birthday, today. She now spends much of her time bringing lupus awareness to her community. I hope to help her do this through my writing and eventually publish GTS, a novel based on our lives in 2015.

Samantha is graciously sharing a look into the 20+ years she has spent living with a lupus diagnosis. Here is a little bit more of her story:

From August 2001 to January 2002, I felt like a ping pong ball going from one doctor to another, not getting better, and not knowing what was going to happen next. In February 2002, I was referred to Texas Scottish Rite Hospital for Children in Dallas, Texas. I remember my parents driving during an ice storm to get to the hotel and being stuck on I-30 due to an 18-wheeler that jacked knifed and blocked traffic for over two hours.

We finally made it to my appointment and a treatment plan was made for me. I would be visiting the hospital every two weeks for treatment. This required me to leave my public school and start homeschooling.

My mom and I would fly to Dallas, get to the hospital just in time for my appointment, and I would get labs done, which I hated. Each visit would require me to be admitted to the hospital. My family was unable to visit as no one lived in the area. My mom would sleep a lot, leading me to make “friends” with inanimate objects. The IV pole with bags of Solumedrol and Cytoxan would be my unwanted companion for three long days. One ray of joy were gift bags full of goodies waiting for me, on the hospital bed, during each visit. They were full of little things to keep me entertained while in the hospital and things I could take home when I left. I felt grateful for the goodie bags because it got lonely there.

Eventually traveling to Dallas every two weeks became once a month, then once every other month up to my 18th birthday.

Can you imagine seven years of your childhood dealing with so many medical appointments? It’s not normal for most of us. I’ve seen Samantha happy, sad, angry, joyful, and so many emotions in between about her body and living with lupus. There have been days where she couldn’t imagine continuing to live like she has for so many years. She continues to manage the emotions that come along with a chronic illness. Nothing about this diagnosis is fair. Such beautiful people living in pain with no light at the end of the tunnel.

There is no cure for lupus. There is only one FDA approved medication specifically for lupus. All treatment plans are designed to manage symptoms and slow the destruction of healthy cells.

The Lubbock Lupus Group is raising money in their community to provide financial assistance to the lab at Texas Tech University completing research to find a cure for lupus.

I watched my friend speak so eloquently during a Facebook Live event she hosted, with a guest researcher from Texas Tech, about how she hopes her group can be a factor in what leads to a cure for so many. I’ve said it in the other two posts, but please follow the Lubbock Lupus Group on Facebook. Go back and look at all the posts during Lupus Awareness Month and learn information you may not have known about the disease. Connect your loved ones to an online support group that may not have one. There are so many great reasons to follow!

Lubbock Lupus Group – LLG | Facebook

Samantha and I discussed the possibility for more lupus related posts through the blog. Our reach is limited right now but please reach out if you would like to read more. The blog post has comment options, you can contact me via the contact button on authorarielpierce.com, email me at authorarielpierce@gmail.com and/or connect with me on Instagram.

Ariel Pierce (@authorarielpierce) • Instagram photos and videos

Would y’all want to hear more about Samantha’s experience with lupus? Would y’all want to hear more lupus facts? Would you want to know more about the research being done at Texas Tech University? Please let us know and we will work on it!

Samantha is using the hashtags #lupusawarenessmonth and #lupuswarrior within her Facebook group posts. Use these hashtags and help her spread awareness for lupus!

Mental Health Monday

Y’all! I’m over here having a blast with this blog, website, and social media page. I’m still getting my feet wet and haven’t landed on how I plan to maintain consistency, but I have plans in the works.

The last class I completed at Southern New Hampshire University helped me hone my goals for my platform and writing career.

Let me take a moment to hype up Southern New Hampshire University. They have an online program where I am currently crawling, at the slowest possible pace, towards a bachelor’s degree in English and Creative Writing with a concentration in Fiction. I’ve never felt so cared about by a school and I’ve never met anyone in person. This school checks in REGULARLY. The consistency, emails, calls, etc., are all wonderful.

Check them out: www.snhu.edu

My primary goal is to work towards publishing my children’s book, in honor of my son, and my novel, in honor of my best friend.

Another goal is to be an advocate for mental health.

The last goal would be to share my experiences as a parent.

My first few posts were geared towards the books I am writing. My son pops up here and there within my website and blog posts. The one focus I seem to have right now is mental health. I have lists of ideas for different blog posts all centering around mental health.

To keep y’all in the know, I plan to launch a new series of blog posts on Mondays. They will all be grouped under the umbrella name “Mental Health Monday,” but will have individual names each week.

If you were following along with the two Lupus posts, you’ll see we skipped a Wednesday. Teaming with Samantha, writing, editing, and getting a post out was harder than I thought! I hope to have one final post to finish out the month, so don’t worry. I mention this as I cannot promise to be 100% consistent. I am still a full-time employee, full-time mom, and have so many background things going on. (Did I mention crawling towards another bachelor’s degree?)

I am also struggling with my own mental health challenges that some days make it harder for me to accomplish my goals. Either way, I’m shooting for each Monday to launch a post. If I don’t do a blog post, I’ll try to post a few Instagram posts to keep y’all engaged!

Let me know what topics you would like me to write about! Add a comment below this post or interact with my Instagram posts. A few topics I already have cooking are:

Crushed Dreams
Microaggressions
Being a single parent
Mondays

————-

Here is a little mental health update for those who read last week’s blog post, “Big Dreams and Big Struggles.” If you read the post, you’ll know I am struggling with food and my overall health.

I’m having another challenging night. It’s Sunday, my son is in bed, and I have a few hours before I plan to sleep. The thoughts are trickling in.

Mondays are always good days to start fresh.
It’s just a snack.
You had dinner at 5, that was five hours ago, go ahead and eat something else.
You ate healthy this morning; an unhealthy snack won’t make a huge difference.

I might need to start being honest about my struggles with my therapist. The nonchalant attitude about it being no big deal is not doing me any justice. I advocate for others to seek help when they need it but feel embarrassed when I admit I’m struggling more than what I lead others to believe.

All the conscience and logical thoughts are also there.

Don’t wait, start now with healthy choices.
It starts as a snack, but you usually take it too far.
You’re not hungry.
It does make a difference.

Why do I keep losing? Why do I keep making the choices I don’t want to make?

I haven’t lost today. I decided to try what I did last Sunday night and start writing. Writing helps distract my brain from unhealthy thoughts. The problem is, I don’t always turn to writing or something else that may be helpful. I wrote last week’s post on a Sunday. Weekends are generally less hectic. I try to let go of the stressful week and enjoy being with my son. I am writing, again, on a Sunday night. This weekend passed uneventfully. My son and I enjoyed a Saturday morning full of activities and hung out all day today at home. It feels easier to turn to writing on the weekend because there are not as many stressors.

During the week I am faced with so much stress. After getting my son into bed, I literally shove all the snacks possible in my body. The comfort is immeasurable in those moments. That is, until I get on a scale, or realize even my stretchy legging jeans are tight. I cannot seem to let go of the stress I hold during the week caring for so many other people.

I imagine many of y’all feel similar thoughts. You’re a parent, a friend, a partner/spouse, a worker in the helping profession, a worker in any profession. Your choices impact so many other people. You must be 100% for those in your life, when you finally have a moment to yourself, you crash. You don’t treat yourself to the 100% you deserve. Eventually, you are doing anything simply to cope and get through each day. That’s how unhealthy habits begin, like my challenges with food.

My mental health posts wont all be about my struggles with food. Trust me, I have many other struggles that I am happy to share. I don’t share to receive pity; I share to show those who may also be struggling that they are not alone. Our struggles are often many and strong. Unfortunately, we generally keep them inside until they manifest in a way that hurts.

No one deserves to hurt in silence to make those around them feel comfortable. If you’re struggling with similar battles or any battle, just know, I am here with you! My website/blog and social media page are safe places! Share your dreams and your struggles. Life isn’t easy but you’re doing great!

Ariel Pierce (@authorarielpierce) • Instagram photos and videos

Big Dreams and Big Struggles

Seeing my name across the front of a novel is the ultimate dream. I want to trace my fingers along each of the letters in my name and spin in tiny circles, giggling to myself about achieving being a published author.

While I’m achieving my dreams, I also want to be mindful of the opportunity I may have to impact other’s lives through my content. I don’t want to miss out on the chance to build a place for my readers to feel safe. I don’t want them to read my book, feel happy for a few days, then go back to a potentially similar existential dread I feel most days.

I’ve often thought about “blogging.” I think I have things that are important to say and may be important for others to read. I’ve also felt simply having a place to write about whatever I want would be amazing. I am not up to date on what the world thinks is good blog content. I do not know the purpose of every blog out there. My understanding of its main purpose is to connect.

I want to connect. I want to impact others. I want to use this chance I have to be a positive influence and make the most of it.

We shouldn’t be afraid to be ourselves. Whether you’re an almost 30-year-old aspiring author (like me!), famous, or plan to remain hidden from the eyes of most of the world, we deserve to be ourselves. We deserve to share what we experience and not be afraid of what others think. (If you’re racist, homophobic, or any type of person that is spreading hate then you need to seek help, and please, do not be yourself). For the most part, we’re all trying to get through each day the best we can.

If I published a book, became well known, and kept my struggles private, I would regret it daily. I want people to know I have big dreams, but I also have big struggles. I question if I am worthy of my dreams. I question what my purpose is in this world. I’m working hard to push through my internal battles to help others do the same because we are worthy no matter what others tell us or what we tell ourselves.

I share the following information to show a look into my brain, a look into my struggles.

———

(There are curse words below, fyi!)

The best pizza in the world is Totino’s Combination Party Pizza. I will not debate this because I know it is true. You don’t need to add anything but throw a little ranch and parmesan cheese on it, and it’s added perfection. This isn’t an ad, I simply love their pizza, haha!

It’s roughly 10 o’clock where I live, and I can’t stop thinking about throwing one into the oven. The problem is, I had one for dinner about four hours ago. Four hours seems a little bit more reasonable than if I ate it an hour ago, but I don’t feel hungry. I legitimately can’t stop thinking about food.

My brain is actively attempting to convince myself to go eat this pizza. Like, the rationales going on in my head are astonishing. You skipped breakfast today, you can eat a bit more. There’s only one left so you can finish it and then work on eating healthier tomorrow. It has been a few hours, it’s okay to eat again.

I’M NOT HUNGRY.

I started this health management program recently. My job advertised it as being covered by our insurance. I went strong for about two weeks. The videos are informative. The videos are not judgy. The videos are helpful. I learned how to pay attention to when I’m hungry and when I’m eating for other reasons.

So, right now, I know I’m not hungry. I am sitting here with an internal monologue going back and forth about whether I should do something to better my life or sit and press play on the next The Flash episode and daydream about Carlos Valdes (Cisco). I’m only on season 4 so please don’t tell me if something bad happens to him! Carlos is pretty tempting, but I want to write. I want to exercise. I want to do something to work towards reaching my goals. I haven’t figured out why I consistently choose lying around and doing nothing when it’s not what I want to do.

This food battle has been ongoing for as long as I can remember, but lately seems much worse. The internal arguments are occurring daily and the “good angel” on my shoulder is losing. My “bad angel” side is creative with late night snack creations. It makes anything sound appetizing late at night when I know it shouldn’t.

I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been. I’m the most stressed I’ve ever been. I’m the most dissatisfied with life I’ve ever been. I’m the loneliest I’ve ever been.

My therapist is consistently the one I spill out these frustrations to. I don’t want to eat, but I do it anyways. I literally hate myself in that moment, but I do it anyways. I know this is against my health goals, but I do it anyways.

I can’t, logically, figure out how to stop. I can for brief periods of time but then I’m back being led by the “bad angel,” within weeks.

I’m so easily thrown off by a stressful day of work, the downs of being a single parent, the seemingly forever sense of loneliness, the most recent hurtful words said by someone I care about, or the feeling that my life will always be the same and I’ll never achieve more than where I am in life right now.

My brother had a shirt when we were kids that read, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” I heard a clip of a song on Tiktok by an artist that goes by Jordy. The song is called “Sticks and Stones (feat. Charlotte Sands)” and is on Jordy’s album Mind Games. One of my favorite lyrics in this song is, “…sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will fucking kill me…” The context is a little different, but the words are important.

I’m not one to use curse words often but like the lyric in the song, it feels necessary. Words fucking hurt. WORDS HURT. Words not only hurt when they’re directed at you in a negative context. They hurt when they come from someone who is hurting and simply expressing themselves. I am not able to forget things easily. I cannot let go of seeing someone else in pain.

I look into the eyes of hurting people daily. My own eyes reflect pain each morning and each night. My son’s eyes reflect confusion when I snap at him because I am struggling to manage the emotions going on inside of me.

Today felt different. I decided to sit down to attempt to edit another blog post, the intrusive pizza thoughts began, and I became angry. I said to myself, “don’t you dare.” “Don’t you dare take time away from your goals to do something you know is going to hurt you.” Writing this blog post saved me today. Today I made the choice to focus on my dreams and won the battle against the “bad angel” tempting me.

I don’t anticipate this war ever ending. Tomorrow will be another battle as I continue working to be healthier.

I’m thankful for another chance to reach my dreams. I’m thankful for everyone who may read these words and those who may not.

If you’re struggling with similar battles or any battle, just know, I am here with you! My website/blog and social media page are safe places! Share your dreams and your struggles. Life isn’t easy but you’re doing great!

Lupus Awareness Month x2

Happy Wednesday x2!

It is just me today.

Samantha is being amazing and preparing for her upcoming lupus fundraiser.

Check out The Lubbock Lupus Group’s event, Power of Purple Walk for Lupus on May 21, 2022!

Power of Purple Walk for Lupus | Facebook

I want to take a moment and speak to the important mental health technique of saying “no.” If you are like me, and Samantha, you probably feel some type of way when you feel you let someone down. You likely say yes to things you did not want to simply because you care about the person asking. You may say yes because you originally wanted to, but other priorities are piling up.

My website and blog are a recent venture thanks to a class I completed at Southern New Hampshire University. They shared with me the value of starting to build your platform even if you do not have any published content for viewers/readers. I asked Samantha pretty last minute about helping me with lupus awareness blog posts. Samantha is a mom to four, a wife, the President of the Lubbock Lupus Group, an employee, and so many other roles.

After being as dramatic as possible about whatever ailment, my body is currently fighting, I checked in with Samantha about this week’s post. She shared she had much to do to prepare for her upcoming event and simply was feeling overwhelmed. Thankfully, she shared she was not up for a post this week! How amazing is that?!

My hope in sharing this little bit of information is for it to be read by someone who struggles setting boundaries for fear of how other’s will respond. It is absolutely okay for you to set boundaries and you have no obligation to explain why they are being set. It is absolutely okay for you to say yes one day and then say no the next. We do not know how we are going to be feeling or what we are going to be experiencing each day.

Not only is it important for everyone to practice setting boundaries, but it is also important for everyone to be receptive of the one who is setting boundaries. I know people will find some sort of example to throw out about how people can be flaky, disrespectful, and blow people off but you will more than likely always find an example when you are trying to justify your feelings. Take a person’s response at its face value and move on. If you feel comfortable enough having a conversation about the experience later, then you likely have a positive relationship with that person, and they are a safe person to hear your feelings.

Lupus is the perfect example to help explain why respecting boundaries is important. Many people have uttered the words, “You don’t look sick,” to Samantha. Those who are unfamiliar with lupus expect for her to have some sort of visible physical symptom of the disease. That is not the case with every person who is diagnosed. That is not the case for many diagnosed with several different diseases.

The point is, if a person is stating “I don’t feel well,” “my body hurts,” “I’m not feeling up for this today,” etc., believe them. Only that person knows how they feel, and they do not have to have a visible symptom to make those around them believe or respect their response.

Samantha was at work with me one day, looked stunning as usual, appeared perfectly healthy, and was induced into a coma the next day due to a lupus flare up. Samantha knew something was off with her body, shared with those she loved, and sought out medical recommendations to address the problem. If people doubted her reports, who knows where she would be if she did not seek help.

Please support the ones you love when they share with you what they need.

Please speak up about what it is you need.

If someone you love has a chronic illness, speak with them about what symptoms you should be looking out for in case they may not be able to advocate for themselves.

Samantha is using the hashtags #lupusawarenessmonth and #lupuswarrior within her Facebook group posts. Use these hashtags and help her spread awareness for lupus!